Sunrise Plunging into Darkness (or Gotta Light?)

October 1, 1978, Sunday, Shawangunk Mountains

“Damn Conor, this is magnificent. Everything around us is glowing,” Kai exclaimed.

It was just after 6:15 on a Sunday morning. Kai and Conor were sitting on a blanket draped over a car-sized boulder off the Trapps Trail. Conor had woken Kai up as promised that morning and driven them up to the lookout above the hairpin turn on the Minnewaska side of the Gunks. After supplying enough light for them to find this secluded spot, the sun began to appear. It sent its first direct rays toward the cliffs where they were perched at 2,200 feet of elevation overlooking the valley.

Conor’s favorite lookout, it was shielded by a thick growth of dwarf pines and mountain laurel on three sides, with a drop of several hundred feet on the fourth side. Of all his favorite lookouts, it offered the most privacy. He told Kai that Catholic Mass didn’t hold much meaning for him.

Ever since he got his driver’s license he’d been coming to the mountain most Sunday mornings. It was an alternative spiritual period of the week to think about life and the part he was to play. Kai loved that he shared this special personal moment with her.

They held hands and looked to the east as the mountain’s boulders and cliffs were lit up, reflecting the horizontal rays back towards the valley. It was a spectacular site and like a rainbow, the fleeting nature of the sunrise stirred Kai’s emotions.

“Conor, sometimes I think about the past seventeen years spent without knowing you and it makes me sad. All those years seem wasted.”

“Yeah, it’s a shame you missed potty training. Constipation was a thrill, and you’d have loved my obnoxious ten-year-old self. What a know-it-all!” Conor quipped.

“I’m serious.”

“Well, we did need to grow up first, still, it would’ve been wonderful sitting right here with you three or four years ago.” He paused for a moment then said, “Hell, I could’ve saved you from virgin-shattering sex with your chubby neighbor.”

“Leave poor Billy out of this!” Kai said, taunting him with a punch in the shoulder. “Look, I’m almost eighteen and I’ve never experienced anything like this until you came along.”

She combed her fingers through Conor’s hair and slowly turned his head toward her. She looked up into his deep blue eyes with a longing he hadn’t yet seen.

She whispered, “I’m glad you remembered I wanted to do this with you. It’s sensational. I can’t say enough how much you mean to me, Conor Walsh.”

Without hesitation, for the first time, he whispered back, “I love you, Kai.”

She stroked his hair between her fingers and responded, “I love you too, so much.”

They sat for several moments looking into each other’s eyes.

Finally, Kai spoke, “All through French class last year, I saw you were different and liked you a lot, but never dreamed or even thought something like this would ever happen.”

She kissed him deeply for one long kiss as if she were sending her soul inside of him. She ended their kiss with her forehead pressing against his while gasping for air, staring closely into his eyes with their eyelashes touching.

Catching her breath she murmured, “It’s like we were meant to be Conor. Our souls were just waiting for us to meet.”

Still rubbing foreheads together Conor nodded and in a low husky voice whispered, “I’ve been hooked from the first time I spotted you on the volleyball court. I’m addicted with no chance of an overdose. None.”

He stopped for a few moments to let it sink in, then took her hand and kissed it before continuing.

“It’s also what scares the piss out of me. The thought of ever losing you. I mean, it’s ridiculous. You’re the most dazzling woman in the school, you’re brilliant and everyone wants to look like you. That first night we spent alone at your house, your outfit drove me insane. I had to think about throwing grandma off a cliff to keep my mind off screwing your brains out!”

Kai wanted to laugh, but instead kept it to herself and said, “You’re a freaking idiot. I’m the lucky winner of the Conor Walsh lottery. You have no idea how many hearts were broken when I jumped into your arms outside of typing class. Believe me, there were a ton.”

She paused a moment, then with a crazy look in her eye said, ”Ease your grandma back into her rocking chair and take me.” Glancing at their surroundings she added, “Right now!”

Kai pulled her shorts down and off and reached a hand into Conor’s. She gave him a devilish smile as she pulled his shorts off too. They made love right there in plain sight of every hawk, falcon, and sparrow that happened by. The chance of nearby rock climbers hearing their moans and cries gave their lovemaking an edge of excitement. It was the most intense sex either had ever experienced, even more than the previous night’s Kama Sutra marathon, although the shower sex was close.

They lay side by side with their backs to their boulder and looked up at the blue sky.

“That was amazing Conor, let’s do it again!”

“Kai, you’re insatiable! Remind me next time when making plans to be sure to add an extra hour to whatever we’re doing,” Conor pleaded.

“Only an hour? Most times we’ll need two.” Kai said with a smirk,

“Yeah, I messed up. We’re supposed to meet Phil and Ashley soon.”

“No worries Conor, we always have this afternoon to put in more practice,” She said with a sexy wink while she slid into her shorts.

Conor smiled and spanked her butt cheek while saying, “I don’t deserve you.”

∞

They made plans with Phil and Ashley to meet later that morning for a hike in the Mohonk Preserve at Bonticou Crag.

Ashley and Phil, seniors in high school, were separately close friends with Kai and Conor. They weren’t a couple, but Ash and Phil had both grown up in New Paltz and knew each other well. They all met at the Bonticou Crag trailhead. The Crag was an outcropping of white Shawangunk conglomerate rock that makes its cliffs and boulders stand out.

Throughout the "Gunks," the Crag has one of the coolest bouldering fields to climb, and at the top offers a magnificent view of the Catskill Mountain range. Mostly, it’s an easy hike that Conor thought would get his crew warmed up. Conor had hiked the Crag trails many times, yet had never gone inside the Crag. That was their ultimate destination today.

Phil had volunteered to bring flashlights for the cave part of the hike. It was a bit disappointing. He had a small flashlight from his Boy Scout days, more a toy than anything. There was also a large, sealed beam spotlight set atop a clunky battery compartment with a separate red light attached to the back of it that blinked every few seconds. It was large and awkward, not ideal for climbing in tight spaces. Phil noticed Conor wasn’t impressed, and showed him two candles and a book of matches, hoping that would make up for it.

With Phil’s sketchy lighting, Conor wasn’t sure about their spelunking adventure. Whether they did it or not, hiking the Crag alone would still be fun. All four set off on the trail to the top of the Crag. Except for the huge spotlight, everything fit into their pockets. Knowing they’d all need two hands for the boulder field, Conor volunteered to carry the larger light.

As bouldering goes, for Conor, it was a pretty easy ascent. For the rest, climbing straight up a jumble of boulders the size of small cars seemed a little daunting. Fortunately, all except Ashley were excellent athletes, which turned out to be a bonus for Phil. He got a chance to play “knight in shining armor,” helping Ash up and over some of the more difficult spots.

Once they got the hang of it, they found pulling themselves up by their arms, and scaling steep boulders exposed to large drops was pretty thrilling. When they reached the top, the view on this clear day was stunning. The Catskill range seemed close enough to reach out and touch.

After resting, Conor led them down the back trail of the Crag toward the cave entrance. The boulder trail leading down had a red painted line every ten feet to mark the trail. When the marks came to the cave, the last one had an arrow pointing down into the dark.

Conor explained that it wasn’t what most people thought of when thinking of caves. You couldn’t walk around like in a cavern. Instead, it was more like someone had tossed a Jenga game into a shoebox and they’d climb through the gaps and openings that were created where the Jenga pieces settled. He said there’d be some tight squeezes, and at the end, they’d pop out into bright sunshine. He asked if anyone was claustrophobic or didn’t want to go, and they all looked eager.

Conor was a bit uneasy with the lighting, still, the spotlight would shine a light on everything. He put it out of his mind. The plan was to have Conor lead the way with the two women following and Phil bringing up the rear.

“I guess you big strong boys are going to protect us, little girls, from the mean cave monsters,” Kai said with a whiny sarcastic edge.

“Not at all,” Conor said laughing. “The monsters are mostly friendly, but a cornered fox or coyote might not be very welcoming.”

Kai wasn’t sure if he was teasing and decided not to take any chances and chose to stay close to Conor anyway.

Conor asked Phil to carry the bright spotlight in the rear so it would shine on the group ahead. He’d use the small Boy Scout light to find the red markers. The candles and matches would remain in Phil’s pocket and hopefully stay there.

The going was tougher than Conor imagined, and the trail markers were hard to see. After about thirty minutes of weaving through tight spaces and crawling over and between boulders, Conor figured they were about halfway.

A few minutes later, all at once they heard a loud thud, the sound of glass breaking, Phil saying “crap,” and the cave going dark. The only light left came from the small Boy Scout light.

“Phil?” Conor asked.

“Yeah, I don’t think there’s that much blood. I bashed my head on what I think was the roof of the cave.”

“…and the light?” Conor, Ashley, and Kai asked in unison.

“Yeah, about that guys, I think it’s out of commission,” Phil replied.

Conor shined the light at Phil’s forehead and saw a red bruise, and fortunately no blood.

“O.K., not good, still not the end of the world either. We still have old Boy Scout light here. Let’s keep moving,” Conor said with false confidence.

Inside, he was freaking out. He hadn’t seen a red marker in a while and had no idea where the trail was. All the boulders ahead seemed to lead to nowhere. He also noticed that the little green Scout light was pretty dim and seemed to be getting dimmer by the minute. Clearly, no one had changed the batteries in a long time.

He chose a path and started moving, and after a few yards was relieved to spot a red marker ahead. When he squeezed up to it, his heart bounced an extra beat. The arrow on the red marker was pointing in the opposite direction!

At first, he was confused, but then he realized it was a mark for someone who started at the other end of the cave. It was pointing in the direction they all had just come from. It meant they had definitely gone past the halfway point. The other opening had to be ahead, and it gave Conor a boost of confidence.

After another minute, he felt someone tugging on his shirt from behind.

“Conor, should I be getting a little worried here?” Kai asked in a whisper. “Your light is barely on, and it’s getting very dark.”

“No problem whatsoever Kai, we can fix that,” Conor replied. “Phil, can you squeeze by Ash and bring the candles and matches up here?”

All four crammed into a circle of sorts. Conor shone what was left of the scout light on Phi’s hands as he handed over a candle. It wasn’t very noticeable, yet there was a draft that drifted through the cave at various points. Conor held the candle while Phil lit the match. When he lit the first one, a slight breeze blew it out. It took three chances and eventually, a candle wick caught fire. After being in the dark, the light from the candle lifted everyone’s spirits.

“Everything will be all right guys; we’ve got to be close to the other side by now,” Conor said, not sure if he was lying or not.

With the candlelight, they inspected the broken spotlight, and it was beyond repair. Phil noticed the switch for the back red light and turned it on. Every three seconds it blinked, casting a red glow throughout the cave. It was kind of eerie, yet no one asked him to turn it off. It didn’t help that right then the boy scout light finally gave out.

With a candle and red light blinking they started off once again. Conor was worried. He hadn’t seen a red arrow for a long time, and his heart skipped a beat with every blink of red. Making matters worse, the candle blew out every few yards.

After another twenty minutes, the candle went out and there were no more matches left. It was pitch black except for a blink of red every three seconds. Ashley started to cry. Phil was as freaked out as she was, and put his arm around her hoping it would calm them both.

Conor leaned close and whispered into Kai’s ear, “There’s no way we’re going to be stuck in here, I promise I’ll get you out.”

She gave his hand a tight squeeze, and her confidence in him gave a jolt of adrenaline. He told everyone to chart a path every time the red light blinked and start moving toward the sound of his voice. Conor held Kai’s hand to keep her close and started telling a story he recalled from Scheherazade’s Arabian Nights. This kept him talking and took their minds off the panic creeping in.

After slow going for another twenty minutes, Conor ended another story about Scheherazade’s escape from impending death and asked Phil if he’d switch off the red light. They sat in darkness for a few seconds.

Conor, still holding Kai’s hand, asked her, “Do you see what I see?”

“You mean that tiny speck of light?” she asked.

“Exactly. That’s not as far as you think. It’s only small because it’s being blocked by the boulders in front of us,” Conor explained.

Looking in the direction of the natural light, he asked, “Phil can you please flick on the red blinker again?”

With the blinking red light, Conor could see a new path, and like an archer eyeing the bullseye he began moving toward it with purpose. Within five minutes, he brought them to a window that looked out into a blue sky. It wasn’t the tunnel exit, still, it looked like Kai or Ashley might be small enough to fit through it.

Conor wrapped his arms around Kai’s waist and lifted her up toward the opening. She stuck her head through it, looked around and Conor lowered her back in. She said she thought it came out at the bottom of the boulder field. She angled her head with her shoulder and easily squeezed out up to her waist. Conor pushed on her bottom, and then the soles of her sneakers to boost her up and out of the cave. They all heard a huge loud whooping and yelling from Kai that made the rest still inside laugh with excitement.

Next came Ashley, who was much smaller than Kai. Conor lifted her up and she crawled out with barely any help whatsoever. Glancing out the hole, Conor saw her hugging Kai with tears of relief and happiness streaming down her face.

Conor saw Phil lit up for a second in red and said, “You should give it a go, you never know, you might fit.”

“There’s no way I’m NOT fitting through that hole Conor!”

Phil wasn’t a huge guy, though he did have pretty broad shoulders. He positioned himself with his head leaning with his ear touching his shoulder, making his head, shoulders, and arms like a spear. Conor lifted him up by the waist and he barely fit scratching his exposed ear pretty badly on the rock as he scraped through. Once there, with his small waist, he was able to lift himself out with his strong arms into the bright sunshine.

That left Conor alone in the cave.

Kai stuck her head into the hole.

“Conor, there’s no freaking way I’m leaving you in this cave. Now get your butt out of there.”

Using Phil’s method, Conor figured he could get his head and shoulders through the hole. As a soccer player, his waist and legs would be the challenge, not the upper body. He knew one thing though, if he got through that far, he’d scrape an inch of skin off if that’s what was needed to make it out.

It took some doing with no one below to lift him up. Phil grabbed his first hand through and pulled with all his might. Conor slowly made it to his waist. Twisting and tilting from side to side, and with Kai and Phil pulling on his arms, Conor finally popped out of the hole like a cork from a shaken bottle of champagne.

Kai kissed him fiercely and was joined by all the spelunkers in a foursome hug. Standing in their tight circle, Ashley looked up at Conor with wet eyes, and speaking for all of them said,

“You are fearless Conor. We’d all still be in there if it weren’t for you, and your calm storytelling was what we needed. I love you for it.” She gave him a hug and kissed his cheek.

Then half laughing and half serious Ash made fists with both hands and began pounding him on the chest.

“If you ever, ever, ever take me into a cave again, any cave, I’ll beat the living crap out of you!”