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Hard Decisions… (21)

Hard Decisions...

February 8, 1979, Thursday, New Paltz

“Conor, I’m late.”

“Late for what, we’re on time,” Conor said to her as they walked into school.

Kai grabbed his hand and led him into the janitor’s closet off the hallway entrance and closed the door behind them. She had a worried look and Conor was totally confused why they were among the brooms and mop buckets.

“I’m never late, and it’s three days past.”

Conor finally caught up to her.

“It’s impossible Kai, you’re on the pill. I looked it up back in September, it’s 99.5% effective. Besides, it’s worked every month since, and we’ve had sex two to three times a day. It’ll be all right.”

Conor hugged her tightly as tears started to slide down her cheeks.

“Conor, I’m never late.”

“You’ve taken it every day, right? Give it another day and everything will be fine.”

“We’ve made love more than a hundred times. Conor, maybe we’ve reached the half percent!?” Kai hissed.

Conor could tell right away that Kai was freaked out, and it killed him to see her this way.

“Kai let’s go and buy a test at the drugstore. We can drive to Kingston where no one knows us. I’ll go into the store and buy it. You can stay in the car; it’ll be all right,” Conor calmly suggested.

“I’m scared,” Kai said as a new wave of tears cascaded down her face.

“I may have forgotten to take the pill once or twice, but like the instructions said, I always took an extra one when I did forget the very next day,” she admitted.

Conor stood in front of her with a hand on each shoulder, hunched down to her height, and looked straight into her eyes.

“Kai Adams, stop worrying about what you did or didn’t do, there’s no one to blame. We’re in this together as always.”

He reached up and wiped away her tears. “Now let’s get out of this closet and find out. I’ll tell the office that you’re not feeling well and I’m taking you home. We’ll drive to Kingston, get a test, and find out. O.K.?”

Kai nodded her head, took a deep breath, and they walked out.

“Oh my God, what are we going to do?” Kai asked as she showed Conor the positive indicator. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

Conor stopped pacing in front of her bed, let out a long slow breath, and stared at his feet.

“Nothing has to be done this minute, or even today,” Conor said with as much confidence as he could muster. “We need to let the shock wear off, and then figure out what to do. Right?”

Kai didn’t respond and she wrapped her arms around Conor’s waist. Tears were streaming down her face and dripping onto Conor’s shirt. She wasn’t sobbing, though she did look like her world was about to end.

“Look, we’re strong enough to deal with this Kai. You may have it growing inside of you, but it wouldn’t be growing if it weren’t for me. You are not alone. We did this together and we’ll face this together, you and me. Do you understand?” Conor asked.

Kai nodded and rested her head on Conor’s shoulder.

“Don’t tell anyone, for now,” Kai whispered in his ear.

It was late in the afternoon and getting dark. Conor needed some alone time to think things through. He told Kai that he would be at his house and if she wanted him to come back, talk, or anything to call him. Either way, he said he would call her later or stop by, and if she didn’t want to be alone, he’d take her to his house for the night.

Conor glanced over at the alarm clock on his bedside table, it was well after midnight. He got up and went into the bathroom to splash cold water on his face. As he walked back to his room, a door opened a crack, and his mom poked her head out into the hall. After seeing her son with an air of permanent bliss for several months, the worried look she saw was striking. She reached out with a look of concern and saw his eyes brimming with water. She squeezed his arm and nodded toward the kitchen.

Knowing he needed time to collect his thoughts, she didn’t ask him anything while she made them each a cup of herbal tea. They sat at the kitchen table, each with one arm stretched out to the other holding hands, and quietly sipped from their cups.

His mother had fallen in love with his dad when she was Conor’s age. They wanted to get married right away, unfortunately, she was Irish Protestant, and he was Irish Catholic. Conor’s grandparents refused to allow her to marry what they considered a lowly, poor Catholic boy. In the late 1940s, religion mattered greatly, especially for those of Irish heritage.

Their love was very deep, and they decided to elope against her parent’s wishes. For the next ten years, Conor’s grandparents refused to allow her dad in their house and had nothing to do with any of them. It was beyond painful, eventually five grandkids later, they slowly acquiesced. Having lived through that difficult challenge as a young woman, his mom fully grasped how difficult it could be for a young couple, and she knew what Kai and Conor meant to each other.

“It’s difficult to know where to begin, and it’s something we haven’t really talked much about,” Conor said.

“As difficult as it might be, there’s a good chance that it’s something I’m not wholly unfamiliar with,” she replied.

“I doubt it,” Conor said.

Shifting gears, he asked, “When you and dad fell for each other, what was it like? Once you knew he was the one, what did it feel like?”

She took a sip of tea and thought about what her youngest was asking. By the time Conor was old enough to notice such things, her relationship with his dad had greatly matured. Her husband was her soulmate, still, showing how they felt about each other after almost thirty years wasn’t that obvious.

“I’ve told you how we met at a summer camp. I was your age and worked as a kitchen helper. Dad had graduated from college and was in charge of camp athletics. We fell for each other right away, and like you and Kai, he was my first, and as it turned out, only love. It was magical Conor. I had never felt that way about anyone, and it felt like I was floating on a cloud that whole summer. I’m quite sure he was too.”

“How did you know, how did you show it to each other?”

“Conor, people were less forward in those days. I could tell by how he moved and how he looked into my eyes that he loved me. We smooched behind the dining hall a few times and eventually told each other how we felt. It was wonderful.”

“It sounds like it,” Conor said. He was having a hard time getting to the point, “Things were different then.”

“God yes, there was no Summer of Love, no women’s lib, no burning bras back then. Most women didn’t work, they took care of the family. When I earned my master’s degree, I was the only woman in my class,” she recalled.

“With Kai, it feels the same way you did, like floating and nothing else seems to matter.”

“Yet, something seems to have happened?” his mom implied.

“Mom, all those things you mentioned have happened, and sex is something that happens all the time. It’s beyond normal. In school, if you’re active socially, you’ve probably had sex with someone, even though I never had when I met Kai.”

“As a high school librarian Conor, I’m pretty aware,” she said.

“The thing is, both Kai and I weren’t like that. It’s difficult to share this with you,” Conor said with a face red with shame.

His mom squeezed his hand and with a small caring smile, conveyed her understanding. Conor took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

“With Kai, she and I, uh, sex is not sex, it’s making love. I wouldn’t do it otherwise, and she was the first and only one. It’s how we show how deeply we feel, and the way we feel is beyond intense. It’s hard to describe to you, we love each other so much that we’d make love all day if we could,” Conor admitted.

Knowing about teen sex in her high school was one thing, yet hearing her youngest describe his own sexual experiences was something else. Her heart was beating fast, and she felt embarrassed to be talking about it. She had a feeling where this was headed, and for him to be sharing this, knew he needed a caring mom, not a “how could you” mom. That might come later, not right now. She swallowed the obvious questions, and gave a sincere concerned look, letting the silence fill the space.

“The reason you haven’t seen much of me lately is that at Kai’s house, her father gave her what amounts to an apartment in the basement. It has its own bathroom and a door to the backyard. He treats her as a tenant who pays no rent. She can have any visitor she wants and can come and go as she pleases. He barely talks to her. I’ve only met him once.”

His mom got up and poured more hot water into each of their cups. She sat down, dunked her used tea bag in the hot water, and looked at Conor to continue.

“Mom, I know we’re only in high school, yet for the last six months we’ve been living like we’re adults. We talk about life, we read to each other, do homework, and share how we feel about all sorts of things. We both have said how we feel is like a lifetime type of love. She’s my best friend and soul mate. It’s like we were meant to find each other somehow.”

“O.K., then why are we having tea at one in the morning?”

Conor looked away, blinking back the water rimming his eyes again. He knew by sharing with his mom he had to face things head-on. It scared him to no end.

“From the very first time we decided to have sex, Kai had birth control pills. We researched and found that there was a half percent chance of a pregnancy and felt confident we were covered. We were wrong. Kai is pregnant.”

His mom swallowed hard. The way he conveyed the story, she sensed this is where it would end, and still held out hope it was something else. Having had five children, she was uniquely qualified to discuss this, but the world had changed. Back when she was in high school, there was no decision to be made. You had the baby or found a back-room procedure, usually conducted by a midwife or worse. Few doctors would risk their license on something that taboo.

It had only been five years since the Supreme Court decision making abortion legal in the first three months of pregnancy. Although it gave women the right to decide what was right for their bodies, it morally still struck a very raw nerve. Most women, 15% more than men, believe that life begins at conception. Catholics, like her and Conor, had been taught by the Church that abortion is murdering unborn children.

Still, in the most recent 1979 Harris Poll, 60% of Americans were pro-choice, and 80% think abortion is fine in case of rape, the mother’s health, or baby defects. Before the national law, most states had strict abortion laws on their books, and today it’s legal throughout the land.

It was difficult for Kai and Conor to consider any of it, as they loved each other unconditionally. This made any thought of a pregnancy that came from their lovemaking, sacrosanct. Or at least something that couldn’t be dissolved easily.

She reached over and held Conor’s hand and thought about what to say.

“What are we going to do mom?”

“Well, whatever you do, it’s best to discuss it together. Lay out the practical and the moral issues side by side and decide what is most important,” his mom said.

“What are they?”

“Conor, you know what they are, you tell me,” she said.

He took a deep breath as he thought about what she asked.

“All right, practically speaking, both Kai and I are only starting out. A baby would drastically change what that will look like. Most people our age aren’t having kids, and raising a child will end a social life,” Conor said.

“Not sure that’s where I’d start, still you’re probably right.”

“Of course, sorry, college and careers come first, they’d be affected and that’s way more important, especially for Kai. Even if they allow women with babies in the dorms, it would be tough.”

“I think you’re missing one of the biggest practical issues, and having done it five times, it’s one not to overlook,” his mom said.

“Yeah, duh. Kai would have to physically have the baby, and nine months from now would be sometime in, let’s see, July, August, September. Right, she’d have it in September, meaning that she’d miss the fall semester. Hell, she’d probably miss the spring too. This would set her back a full year,” Conor figured.

“Conor, do you think you’d start school in the fall with all this happening?”

“Wow, I didn’t think of that.”

“And what about you two? Would you have your child start their life without being their father?” his mom asked.

“What do you mean? I’d be the father.”

“Not officially unless you and Kai –“

“- were married!” Conor interrupted. “Oh my God, how did I overlook that? This is getting overwhelming.”

“Well, if that was the path taken, you can be sure your father and I will be there every step of the way. You and Kai will not be alone,” his mom assured him. “There may be other areas to consider. How about the moral issues?”

Conor looked into his mom’s eyes and sat quietly thinking about her question. It was a very solemn moment between them.

“This is a bit clearer, and there really is only one. The agony of deciding to end one life before it’s started. Unless there are complications, what Kai and I have begun inside of her will grow into a living person. Is it right to squash that possibility?” Conor agonized.

“I think you’ve laid it out pretty well. I would add that some people say a fertilized egg has no idea it is being aborted since at that early stage it hasn’t developed enough to know,” Conor’s mom said.

“Yes, I hear that, though I wonder if that’s merely an excuse.”

“I’m not advocating anything Conor, I only want to be sure you have all the cards on the table,” his mom added. “Beyond abortion, Kai could deliver the baby and put it up for adoption. Although I doubt it would work in our family, sometimes an older married sibling can step in to raise the baby. These are your options”

“This is going to get very sticky isn’t it?”

“What’s getting sticky, and what are you two doing up after one in the morning?” Conor’s dad asked as he walked in the kitchen.

What Conor didn’t know was that his parents both woke up when he splashed water on his face. Having raised five kids, his dad knew that if there was something to get off your chest, his wife was the one to go. His dad had heard them talking. It wasn’t loud enough for him to hear what it was about. He knew his wife would let him know soon enough.

Both Conor and his mom looked over at dad, and neither said a thing.

“Whatever it is, it will still be sticky in the morning, and a better-rested mind will be able to tackle it. Off to bed with you two,” Conor’s dad told them and then ushered them back toward the bedrooms.

 

February 8, 1979, Thursday, New Paltz

Earlier that night, Kai had cried her eyes out with the news, mostly because she was on her own. Conor had called to check on her, and he was sweet about it, still, he didn’t have a baby growing inside of him. This was one night when she missed her mom more than any other. She wished she could call her, but it was too late in Paris and Kai only had her work phone number.

She called her friend Kiki on the party line, and after a few pleasantries, Kai broke out in tears.

“I’m pregnant Kiki, and I’m scared,” Kai cried.

“What, no way! How could that be, you’re on the pill?”

“It’s not a hundred percent effective even though it says that on the package. I guess we’ve done it too many times and the odds caught up with us,” Kai replied.

“That doesn’t sound right somehow.”

“It’s also possible that I forgot to take it once or twice,” Kai admitted.

“It doesn’t matter how, I assume you took a pregnancy test, you’re sure?”

“There’s no doubt Kiki, I’m pregnant”

“Have you told Kate?”

“I can’t face her right now; she’ll be all over me. She’ll blame Conor and want to shoot someone,” Kai said.

“Yeah, you’re right, you’ll need to let her know sooner than later,” Kiki advised. “What are you going to do? Have you thought about having it?” Kiki asked.

“That’s all I’ve thought about. Conor and I made love every day to show each other how intense our love was. A baby coming from that would be beyond special.”

“Do you think Conor would marry you?”

“It’s only been six months, but I know he would. Even if I weren’t pregnant, I think we’d marry at some point,” Kai said.

“Have you thought it all the way through? A baby at eighteen is going to be different. Most of us won’t even consider it for another five to ten years,” Kiki said.

“No doubt it’s not ideal, the tiny egg inside of me will be a little person in eight months Kiki, and it’ll be Conor’s too. I’ll have to deal with it.”

As the thought of having a baby so young sunk in, Kai began to cry into the phone.

“Kai, it’ll be O.K.”

“I can’t believe this has happened Kiki,” Kai cried out to her.

“Listen, you may not want to talk about it, but there is another way, and it’s totally legal. If you go in that direction, you can still have your life and still have Conor too,” Kiki offered.

This thought brought even more tears, and Kiki said nothing while Kai cried herself out.

The next morning after calling to let Kai know he’d be over to see her soon, Conor called in sick to school. He sat on the sofa in the living room, and it brought up memories of their first night together. He thought about how far they’d come since then and how much she meant to him. If you were to ask him a week ago, considering parenthood was the farthest thing from his mind.

With all the news articles he read after the Supreme Court decision, he always sided with the notion that abortion was wrong. In one of those articles, it said that a fertilized egg would grow into a perfectly healthy person ninety-seven percent of the time. He kept thinking about how messed up it was for he or Kai to have to decide who should live or not.

No longer a theoretical, he was confronted with the personal reality of how a newborn would affect his and Kai’s life. The torture of deciding to end one life before it started, or immeasurably alter two lives starting out in adulthood was beyond compare – especially since he loved the mother so deeply. For Conor, it was agony to have to make that choice.

When he thought of Kai, he thought how selfish it would be for him to ask her to have the baby. Although he would be there every step of the way, it would still fall on her to have the kid grow inside of her. She’d have to deliver it, and then breastfeed the baby for months, and nurture them for years.

As much as he felt strongly on moral grounds that a person starts from conception, he understood the science where they don’t develop enough to survive until about five months. It was an incredibly hard situation. One decision he did make was an easy one. He and Kai would discuss it, and in the end, he’d leave it up to her. It was her body, and she would need to decide, and he’d support whatever she chose to do.

His mother took the day off too and sat down next to her son on the sofa.

“Kai must be beside herself without her mother here. Why don’t you ask her to come over for dinner tonight?” his mom asked.

Kai was freaked out at the thought of speaking openly about her pregnancy with Conor’s parents. Yet here she was walking in their door. Conor assured her that they’d make no judgments and merely were there to listen and help.

Over Ziti with meatballs, Conor’s dad said, “ This is new ground for all of us, and no one has all the answers.”

“ Kai, we both think you’re a wonderful young woman with a big heart, and we’re glad that you and Conor care so deeply about each other,” his mom added.

His dad continued, “Keep in mind, that although you have a difficult decision to make, the sun will rise again tomorrow and those who love you most will be by your side.”

“We will support whatever path you choose in pretty much a divine way,” his mom added.

Kai was relieved and it seemed a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She held Conor’s hand under the table and gave him a squeeze to let him know she felt better. She asked his mom questions about when she had her first baby, and what it was like to be a new mother.

Conor’s parents glanced at each other with joyful eyes, when hearing Kai ask what it would be like to have the baby. They knew how difficult it would be since they were such a young couple, yet as idealistic baby boomer parents, neither liked the idea of abortion.

“Morally the choice to have a baby or not is a tough one. If this had happened 10 years ago, there wouldn’t be much of a choice for either of you, his dad said.

“That’s right, you’d have had the baby and more than likely gotten married. Certainly, your lives would have been quite different, maybe in a good or great way, yet still different,” his mom said.

Being able to listen and discuss it at all helped Kai enormously. She still hadn’t gotten through to her mom and had no one to talk to besides Conor and Kiki. Before they ended the discussion, Conor’s mom said something prosaic and profound.

“I will tell you one thing for certain. Whatever direction you take, ending the pregnancy will be just as difficult as starting a family while barely out of High School. Either decision will be something that neither of you will never forget.”

 

February 11, 1979, Sunday, New Paltz

“Kate, it’s Kai, I need to tell you something”

Kate had been best friends with Kai since they shared a biology class sophomore year. Kate possessed a tough exterior but had a big heart and cared deeply about the things that mattered most, her friends. She had a strong protective streak, and always looked out for Kai giving her someone to lean on when things didn't go s planned.

“Well, it’s about time, I thought you were mad at me or something, what’s up?”

“Gosh no, I could never be angry with you Kate, ever.”

“I know Kai, I’ll be there for you always.”

“Well, that’s why I’ve been a bit quiet the last few days. Something’s come up and I didn’t want to get you mad about it,” Kai said. “I’m pregnant.”

“What! I’ll freaking kill him. How could Conor do this to you? That testosterone-fueled animal. I will squash him like a bug. He’s a dead man,” Kate fumed.

“Kate, no. I love Conor. If anything, I’m to blame. My therapist thinks I’m a sex fiend and she’s not wrong, I initiate sex with him pretty much every time,” Kai said. “Please calm down.”

“Hmmm, maybe Kiki is rubbing off on you. Still, I’m sure he enjoys every bit of it, Kai, what guy wouldn’t? Just look at you! Still, you wouldn’t be in this fix if it weren’t for him.”

“Kate we’re in it together, besides, I’m not sure it’s as much of a fix as you think. I love him and I’ll love the baby we have as much or even more.”

“Now I know you’re insane. Kai, you’re still in high school, you have your whole life ahead of you. Having a baby now will derail your brilliant future. A single parent with a dead-beat dad is no way to start out in life,” Kate said. “I am totally going to skin him alive!”

“Kate stop. I’m serious about having the baby, and you couldn’t be more wrong about Conor. If we go forward and have it, of course, he’ll marry me,” Kai cried.

“O.K., O.K., I’m sorry Kai. At least it’s good to hear he’ll make an honest woman of you,” Kate said with less venom. “I hate to see you in this situation.”

“Look, no decisions have been made. I’m beginning to understand what’s at stake and having it or ending it with an abortion are both still up in the air,” Kai said.

“All right. Whatever you choose I’m on your side, always. What about your dad, you’re not going to tell him are you?” Kate asked.

“Haven’t put much thought to it, still…” Kai hesitated to finish

“You know what I think of that,” Kate said without needing to finish to get her point across.

Kai eventually got a hold of her mom in Paris, and they had a long cry over the phone. It was a difficult position for her mom, being on the other side of the Atlantic. She offered to fly over, and Kai would have loved it but asked her to stay in Paris. With the nasty divorce, her presence might cause more trouble than help if her dad found out.

Her mom had Kai when she was not much older than Kai was now. Back in the early 1960s, it wasn’t unusual for a girl to get married and have kids right after high school. Sure, twenty years later things were a bit different, but still, marrying the right guy was the key. Her mom married the wrong guy, and without really knowing Conor, it was hard to offer any advice. If he were anything like Kai’s dad, she’d tell Kai to head to Planned Parenthood at once.

As it was, all she could do was remind Kai that she had options, that she herself didn’t have. It made sense to consider them fully. If Conor were the one, after college they could still get married and have a whole houseful of kids. Throughout their call, Kai told her mom several times how much she loved Conor. It was hard for Kai’s mom to really grasp what that meant, as she was more focused on wanting Kai to have the life she didn’t.

Kai listened and understood. What she didn’t tell her mom was having an abortion would be like tearing a part of Conor out of her.

Before ending the call, Kai again mentioned the idea of wanting Conor to join her on the next visit to Paris. She wanted her mom to meet him and be able to show her how amazing he was. Her mom not only agreed but told Kai she’d pay for their trip and suggested they come in the spring, instead of waiting for the summer.

Although leaning in a certain direction, they both agreed to have one last long discussion about their situation and make a final decision. They met after school at Kai’s house. Being February, she placed extra quilts on the floor’s carpeting and arranged several throw pillows. When Conor arrived, he found her under the quilts waiting for him. He pulled them back to get under and found her completely naked.

She gave him a sexy smile and he dropped to the floor and kissed her for several minutes as she pulled his clothes off. After making love, she told him she wanted to show him that no matter what, she loved him like never before. Conor didn’t say anything in response, yet the look he gave told her he felt the same.

They talked for several hours reviewing everything they had heard from family and friends. As they shared their feelings, they began to realize they felt the same way. Ending something that they’d created together from their intense love for each other was impossible to do.

They knew in the future they could have other kids, yet how different would this little baby be from their future offspring? All of Conor’s siblings were different, they could be missing out on someone that could change history. Worse, what if something happened and they couldn’t have others? Everything seemed to lead to having the baby that they had already created and dealing with the future that came with it.

Before Conor left for the night, they agreed to not share their decision with anyone for a few days.

The last thing was sharing her predicament with her father. Kai went back and forth about whether to bring him up to speed on their situation. After their long discussion, they both concluded that being upfront about it was best. He’d find out soon enough as the months passed and telling him was the right thing to do.

Conor was concerned about what his reaction would be and wanted to be there in case he went off the deep end. Kai told him she could manage it, but if he was concerned, she had no problem with Conor being on the other side of the slider in the backyard.

Kai saw her dad at the top of the stairs and asked him to come down to her bedroom.

“Dad, I need to share something with you,” Kai began.

Her father had his usual annoyed look when having to deal with his children.

“What is it you want now,” he snapped.

“As you know, I’ve been dating Conor Walsh for the last year. As you also know, he’s the best thing that’s happened to me, and I love him very much.”

“When are you going to realize that puppy love among children is only a phase?” he chided her.

Kai sighed and let out a deep breath before soldiering on.

“You know I turned eighteen last month. I’m viewed by the world as an adult. I can vote, join the army, buy alcohol, and care for someone more than loving a puppy,” Kai retorted.

“I’m also old enough now to decide who I will marry and have a family with, something you and mom decided not much older than I am now.”

“Are you telling me you will be marrying this little boy, is that it?” her dad snorted.

“Little boy? Really? That’s what you want to say to me?” Kai asked without wanting an answer.

“You can’t be serious? I thought you had a smarter head on your shoulders than that,” he said.

“I don’t know why I bother with you, but here goes. No, I’m not telling you I’m getting married, I’m telling you I’m pregnant,” Kai said.

Kai’s father was taken aback. It was not the direction he thought things were going. As he processed this new information, he got an even more indignant look on his face.

“Where is this boy?” he asked.

“He’s also eighteen and viewed as an adult in the eyes of the world, except for you. He’s right outside,” Kai replied.

Kai’s father opened the slider to her room and waved Conor inside. They both stood in front of her sofa. Kai with a noticeable look of defiance, and Conor with an unwavering serious face.

“I see you finally took advantage of my slutty daughter and got her knocked up haven’t you?” her dad said to Conor.

“And you, the town tramp bringing shame and disgrace to this family. Well, I won’t stand for it!” he said to Kai.

Kai’s eyes were getting redder by the second. She started rubbing the temples on her head with both hands and slowly blinked her eyes to clear them.

“Sir, you may want to –“ Conor started to say.

“Be quiet boy. I want you out of this house, and out of our lives. You are to never come here, meet or speak with anyone in my family ever again. And you young lady will be off to the abortion clinic first thing tomorrow to get rid of that bastard child,” He barked at them both.

When he was finished, Kai looked at him with pure hatred. She seemed to grow larger before their eyes, and moved one foot slightly in front of the other as if she were about to launch herself in his direction. She picked up a letter opener that was lying on her desk and looked back at her father.

“Listen, very, carefully,” Kai said to him with a slow smoldering cadence. “You have hurt me for the very, very last time. You are a small man who has bullied your way through life and whose bark has lost its bite. You took away my mother with your lies and deceptions, and you will not take away the one thing left in my life that I care most about.”

Her father recoiled and leaned back away from his daughter. Perspiration created a sheen on his forehead and a look of concern was obvious in his eyes.

“All I have to do is call the judge, begin sharing your real story, and you’ll be ruined,” Kai hissed.

“This is what will happen. I’ll decide what to do about my pregnancy, and you’ll have no say in the matter. I will stay in this house no more than the time needed to collect my things and find a new place to live. You will not speak to me, or Conor again, and you will stay out of this room until I’m gone.”

Kai seemed ten feet tall and pointed the letter opener toward her dad in a threatening manner.

“Is that understood?” she barked in a loud voice.

Without waiting for an answer, she turned to Conor and spoke to him with a soft comforting tone. Conor was stunned at how she completely switched her personality in the blink of an eye.

“I think for now, it’s best if you leave, I’ll reach out to you soon, I promise,” she cooed.

Kai gave Conor a small smile and squeezed his wrist to reassure him that she’d be all right. He hesitated and looked over at her father.

Conor turned and took a full step in Kai’s father’s direction, staring at him with a menacing look.

“If you hurt her, even a teeny bit, emotionally or otherwise, you’ll deal with me, and I assure you I won’t be using words,” Conor said.

He squeezed Kai’s upper arm and walked out through the slider.

Kai turned back toward her dad. He looked defeated and somewhat contrite. Kai merely pointed at the door of her room and raised her voice several decibels.

“Out!”

 

February 15, 1979, Thursday, New Paltz

Her reassurance to Conor that she’d be all right was a bit of false bravado. The confrontation with her father spooked Kai beyond measure. As she sat alone in her room, she couldn't stop herself from shaking and as the night wore on it became much worse. She began having a migraine-level headache that constant massaging of her temples and the back of her neck, along with copious amounts of aspirin couldn’t relieve.

Kai was rewinding her past and it dredged up all the childhood trauma that she tried to ignore. Every slight, every time he hit her mom, every tirade directed at her as a small child, all the ugly deceptions, the abuse, and suffering she grew up with went through her head in a disturbing film loop.

As she lay on her bed in agony, she realized she needed to be protected from these situations. The ugly drama with her father was caused by her pregnancy. Throughout the evening she thought of nothing else, and the more she thought of her predicament, the deeper she fell into a deeper and darker emotional abyss.

The phone rang a few times, but she couldn’t answer. The swirling feelings in her could not be lessened with words from Conor or anyone. Kai blacked out around midnight.

Early the next morning she woke in a total emotional fog. Somehow she was able to call Ashley and shared how helpless she felt. She asked Ash to take her, and a few hours later, Kai was no longer pregnant.

After the abortion, Ashley brought Kai to her house and put her to bed to recuperate and rest. After a few hours of napping, Ashley heard a loud mournful wailing coming from her room, she rushed in and saw Kai was in a dreadful state. Her eyes were rimmed with red, her arms had scratches from her wrist to her elbow, and she had a distorted painful look on her face. There was blood on the pillows and sheets. Her t-shirt was also soaked from sweat and tears. She was devastated.

Ashley rushed over and wrapped her arms around her, and Kai just continued to moan and wail inconsolably. Ashley held her for the next hour, and finally, words came with the wailing.

“What have you d, d, done? Did you get an abortion? Did you kill my baby? Ohhhh, myyy God, I will burn in hell. How could you! I didn’t want this. Where is Michael? My dad should be in jail for what he’s done. Dad is a torturer! I didn’t want this. Why did you do this? My baby is gone, my baby is gone, noooo, noooo, noooo!”

These words of anguish were repeated over and over for the next few hours, and the remorse was so painful that Ashley cried right along with her. It seemed to Ashley that Kai was unaware she had gone to the clinic, and she was blaming someone else for ending her pregnancy. Ash thought of calling Conor, but she felt Kai was too raw emotionally to see anyone, even him.

By late afternoon, Kai finally collapsed into a tormented sleep. She tossed and turned and was out cold from exhaustion.

Toward the end of the day, Ashley’s mom came home from work, and Ash shared the whole story with her. She had previously told her mom what Kai’s dad was really like, and how it seemed she had an abortion she clearly didn’t want.

Ashley’s mom knew about the Adams divorce and how Kai’s dad had bullied his soon to be ex-wife and told stories that couldn’t possibly be true.

From what Ashley had told her about Kai’s wailing, it seemed that somehow her father had played a part in her misery. She knew it was meddling, but felt it was necessary and moved quickly to get Kai out of the abusive situation. She checked on Kai and saw that she was totally out of it. She called her husband and asked him to come home right away to sit with Kai in case she woke up.

While Kai slept, Ashley and her mom went to clean out Kai’s room. Her father stayed away and didn’t bother to ask what they were doing. They stripped everything and brought all her clothes, wall art, books, and anything not nailed down to their in-law apartment over the garage. They had built it years ago for Ashley’s grandmother, and it had been unused since she passed away.

Kai woke up with a cold compress on her forehead, and Ashley and her mom sitting on the bed each holding one of her hands. Kai was unaware of where she was, and it took her a minute to realize who was with her.

Once acclimated to her surroundings, she had a total shift in her demeanor from the edge of sanity to a peaceful almost angelic persona.

With her head resting on a pillow, Kai looked up at Ashley and calmly said in a soft voice, “I will be all right. I can’t thank you enough for being there for me, you are amazing. I don’t know what I’d have done without you.”

Kai looked over to Ashley’s mom and smiled. After her emotional breakdown earlier in the day, it was spooky how she was so serene and tranquil in her movements and speech. It was as if she was transformed into a different person who was now resolved to their fate with nothing left to be done.

“I’m so sorry I’ve been such a burden. Thank you for putting up with me. If I can borrow some clothes I’ll get dressed and get out of your hair,” Kai said to Ashley’s mom.

“It’s all right Kai, you don’t have to go anywhere,” Ashley said, and she looked over at her mom for reassurance.

“That’s right, we’re going to take care of you from now on. You will not have to confront anyone anymore. You’re safe now,” Ash’s mom said.

There was a long pause as Kai looked up at the ceiling, like someone who was looking over the horizon at something they couldn’t quite grasp. She slowly looked back at Ash’s mom.

“I’m safe?” Kai asked, as a single large teardrop poured out her eye and rolled down her cheek, splashing on the pillow.

“Yes, while you slept we stripped your room in your father’s girlfriend’s house of everything. We brought it all here and all your clothes and belongings are in our in-law's apartment over the garage,” Ashley’s mom said.

“When you feel better, in the next few days we can get you all set up. We even brought all your pictures and those cool fans off the walls, everything,” Ashley said.

Kai closed her eyes for several seconds, and her eyelids trembled as if they were half blinking. She then rubbed her temples and slowly opened them.

“I don’t know what to say,” Kai said.

“Well, before you get concerned about anything else, I want you to know that ever since your mom got railroaded out of town, I’ve felt so badly for you. You and Ashley have been like sisters since the first grade, and I want you to think of us as family.”

Ashley’s mom reached over and brushed Kai’s hair, and gently rubbed the back of her fingers across her cheek. The look Kai returned was one of intense relief that she wasn’t alone.

“As for the apartment, you and Ash will have some cleaning to do. It’s been collecting dust for the last few years, but the apartment is yours. You can stay there as long as you like, as a place to come home from college, to live when college is over, and forever thereafter if you want. I will hear nothing about paying rent, you are family Kai,” Ash’s mom said.

Overwhelmed with emotion, Kai reached out to both Ashley’s mom and Ash in a three-way hug while new joyful tears streamed down her cheeks, and thanked them between sobs for their kindness and generosity.

“Also, I want to be perfectly clear about you and Conor Walsh. He is an amazing guy. You two are so wonderful together, and I want you to know that he’s always welcome here. It’s your apartment and no one is going to watch who comes, who stays, or who goes. You decide,” Ashley’s mom added.

Kai loved how welcoming and supportive they were. After struggling on her own with no family to speak of, with an uncaring father and a mother unable to see her, she felt a warmth inside that she hadn’t sensed in years.

The inner warmth she felt from Ashley’s family was accompanied by a hollowness that would probably never heal. She dreaded what still had to be done. Letting Conor know what she had done would be one of the most difficult things she would ever do.

Just after supper, Ashley called Conor to come over to her house. She explained that Kai was there and needed to see him. Ash didn’t say why she was there, but without saying, he knew something had happened.

Since leaving her house after the confrontation with her father, he had tried to call her several times throughout the day, but Kai hadn’t called back. He knew that if her father had harmed her in some way, she would have called him. He felt that her silence was just her wanting to have some alone time to accept the future they had both mapped out the day before, so he wasn’t too worried. When the next thing he heard was from her best friend, he was worried as it wasn't a good sign.

Conor was beyond anxious and nervous as Ash led him to the guest room where Kai was staying. When he saw her lying on the bed, totally looking weak and disheveled, he rushed over to her. He was so worried, and he reached for her hand and saw all the scratches on both her arms. He frantically searched her face and her head for other bruises.

“I swear to God I will kill him,” Conor said, thinking that her father had abused her and wrapped his arms around her.

Tears started streaking down Kai’s cheeks.

“Conor, he didn’t do anything to me, at least not physically.”

They held each other for a moment and then he leaned back and looked at her with a concerned look, urging Kai to tell him what had happened.

“Do you know how deeply I love you? Forever and ever. Do you?” Kai pleaded.

“Yes, to the furthest star and back and always,” Conor said quietly as his eyes brimmed with tears.

“I got up this morning and didn’t know who I was, but I was in such a fugue state. I was able to call Ash and she came over. The way my father said those ugly things dredged up horrible memories Conor, awful things that took me to a dark place I haven’t been in years. The next thing I knew I was here in this room with terrible pains inside.”

“What happened, are you all right?”

“I realized that I had an abortion and killed our baby Conor. I know it’s unforgivable, there’s no saying sorry, ever. I blocked it all out, in a fog. I was like in the passenger seat of a car and not able to steer or reach the brake pedal, and then got thrown in the trunk into total blackness. The next thing I knew I woke here with bloody sheets and realized what happened. I killed our baby and there’s nothing I can say…”

Kai started sobbing loudly and couldn’t catch her breath. She began hyperventilating, her whole body trembled for several minutes. She wasn’t getting enough oxygen and her eyes rolled to the top of her head with only the whites showing. She started to shudder and jolt violently gasping for air.

Conor was freaked out.

He shook her, slapping her cheeks several times, and calling her name forcefully over and over to get her attention. After several tense moments, she began catching her breath and calming down as Conor kept telling her he wasn’t going anywhere, he loved her, and she would be all right.

Her eyes rolled back in place, quickly blinking several times. As she slowly regained her breathing, her blinking slowed too. She blinked twice very slowly and then opened her eyes, looked up at him, and then lowered her head to her chest.

“Thank you, I thought I was going under there,” she said quietly, and then wrapped her arms around her middle, leaned her head on his shoulder, and cried softly.

With things calmer, the news sunk in, and Conor was in shock. When they had discussed keeping the baby, he was so happy they weren’t ending a life, a life he and Kai had created. Now in a flash, that was all gone, something had changed, and he felt emotionally whiplashed.

As she cried on his shoulder, he knew something powerful must have clicked in her to go through with it without him. He may never know what it was.

After seeing her a hair breath away from calling an ambulance, he wasn’t about to ask her to clarify things. It left an emptiness deep inside, and thinking about their unborn child, Conor let loose his emotions and tears.

They held each other for the longest time, there was nothing said. She secretly begged for forgiveness, and he didn’t think there was anything to forgive. Looking into Conor’s eyes and seeing his heart-wrenching tears was something Kai would never forget.

After they had cried themselves out. Conor whispered into Kai’s ear that he loved her, and they’d get over the sadness. He told her that it was their incredible love story that brought them to this point, and they’d get through it together.

They both leaned their backs against the headboard of the bed and stared out into space, not registering anything, just caught up in their thoughts. They sat there quietly side by side for more than an hour, saying nothing.

Kai broke the spell by reaching her pinky finger and running it over the balled fist of his hand. After a few minutes, Conor opened his hand and their small fingers embraced. Nothing more.

 

February 16, 1979, Friday, New Paltz

The next day, Ashley and Kai got busy dusting and setting up the apartment over the garage. It was larger than expected with a full kitchen and bathroom. The space was fully furnished with a TV, phone, sofa, coffee table, and easy chairs. In the bedroom, there was a queen-sized bed, a dresser, and plenty of closet space. Instead of her basement bedroom, this was a real apartment, and it was three times larger than what Kai had left behind.

All the furnishings were kind of old-fashioned, something a grandmother would choose. They were able to decorate with the items from Kai’s house. When they were finished it looked much different and had a European feel masking over the stodginess.

After school, Conor came over to see the new digs. Kai made sure that Ashley was there to avoid any potential awkwardness. To keep things light, she suggested they watch General Hospital on TV. The Luke and Laura romance was going full steam and like most in their class, the two girls were fully caught up in the drama. Conor had heard kids talking about the show but wasn’t keen on watching soap operas. Still, he settled in and all three munched on Cheetos and watched the hour-long drama where nothing much happened. It was a perfect escape.

When it was almost over, Ashley remembered that she promised to clean her room before her mom came home from work and she took off.

“Swell place you have here, it’s amazing what Ashley’s family have done,” Conor said.

“It is,” Kai warily replied.

“You’re like totally on your own, your own house,” Conor added.

“Yeah,” Kai said as she nonchalantly shook her head and her eyes roamed around the apartment.

“How often do you need to check in with Ashley’s parents?”

“Never.”

Conor looked away from Kai and stared down at his feet. He was certain there was definitely something he did or didn’t do that was bothering Kai. They had never been this way and he was flummoxed as to what to do about it.

Kai glanced over at Conor as he stared at the floor. She looked away and let out a nervous breath. She was sure he was upset with her about the abortion. They’d never had any friction between them before. She didn’t know what to say or what to do to make it better.

At the same time, they looked each other in the eye, and both with mirrored thoughts they blurted out simultaneously.

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s all my fault.”

“No, really it’s…”

“Me!”

They stopped talking and smiled at each other.

“Conor, can we move past things? I know it’s hard for you to forgive –“

“Stop right there,” Conor interrupted. “I want nothing more than to move forward. This rift or whatever it is that’s between us has me tied up in knots.”

Relieved, Kai reached out to his hand and her fingers immediately intertwined with his. The smile she flashed him was devastatingly beautiful, and they looked into each other’s eyes seeking to rekindle their feelings.

“Ashley’s mom told me that this place is mine rent-free for as long as I want to live here. Even through all of college, if I go out of town, I’ll have a home to come back to. She told me that no one will tell me who I want to have over or for how long, and she specifically said you were welcome. She likes you a lot,” Kai shared.

“They are a family of angels, how incredible,” Conor said.

“The thing is, I may be an eighteen-year-old adult and all, but I’ve never lived alone before. Being by myself is a bit daunting,” Kai admitted.

“Yeah, I understand. I’ll be around a lot,” Conor said.

“Do you remember we talked about waking up together every day and changing the rules?” Kai asked.

“Hmm, now that you mention it.”

“Well, the rules have certainly changed Conor. Don’t you think?” Kai asked further.

“It seems so.”

“What do you think? We’re both eighteen, do you want to move in with me?”

“It’s funny when I first brought it up months ago, I never thought it was possible, at least until we were out of high school,” Conor mused.

Kai stared at him with the wonder of possibility in her eyes waiting for an answer with total anticipation.

“I doubt it’s something mom and dad want to consider. If I give them no option except to go along, it might work, but,” Conor said as if talking out loud to himself with a coy sideways glance in Kai's direction.

“Conor?”

“As Mick Jagger says, wild horses couldn’t drag me away Kai Adams. Of course, I want to move in with you!” Conor finally said breaking into a wide grin.

Kai got up and wrapped her arms around her man and held him for a full minute. Then she whispered into his ear.

“I love you so much and can’t thank you enough for being here for me,” she paused for a beat and lowered her voice an octave, and said, “You get half a drawer, 6 inches of closet space, and nothing more!”

Conor told his parents the news about the pregnancy and the abusive part Kai’s father played in the decision. He shared how Ashley’s family had taken her in and given her their apartment over their garage for Kai to live in. He hoped they understood that he would be staying with Kai for the time being. She couldn’t be left alone. Both were saddened by the news and horrified by Kai’s father.

Although it was totally against their sensibilities to have their youngest living with a woman while still in high school, they decided to leave it up to Conor. He was eighteen and had acted maturely through the entire pregnancy drama. They weren’t about to say no to him at this point. His mom told him as a condition for their approval that both he and Kai had to have dinner at their house at least three times a week or more.

On the way out the door, his father slipped him a small bottle of Rolaids with a wink and a small laugh.

About an hour later the door opened and Conor walked through it. Kai ran over to him and jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist, and kissed him several times all over his face. It was the first time she’d shown him any outright affection in a week and Conor was bowled over.

“If this is the greeting I get every time I come through the door, I’ll make it a habit to leave and come back every hour!” Conor said amused.

“You are the best boyfriend in the whole world, Conor Walsh,” Kai exclaimed

Still carrying her he walked into the bedroom and together they fell onto the bed in a heap. Not wanting to press things any further, they both lay there smiling and staring into each other’s eyes.

Open post

A Late Summer NYC Morning

In some ways, it was like any other late summer morning, only more brilliant than usual.  There wasn’t a cloud in the sky that seemed even bluer than blue.  The air had the first crisp edge of the year, still pleasant in the low seventies, yet dry and somewhat cool.  After weeks of hot humidity and soot-filled air, the city seemed cleaner and almost radiant on this morning as Jack headed downtown.

He took his usual route to the subway station at 72nd Street.  Jack, a creature of habit, had a usual morning routine. Grab a NY Post at Gus’ newsstand, catch the local C train at 7 AM, change to the A train express at 59th St., and then six stops to Chambers Street. Once there, he’d get a Mocha Latte Grande at Starbucks, and a salt bagel with a slice of tomato and a light schmear at Freidman’s deli cart before hitting the elevator that would take him up to work.

Jack arrived on the 59th street subway platform just as the A express train began to pull out of the station.  The trains on the A, C, E lines had been running off schedule all week, and by missing the express, Jack would have to take the slower C train, adding several extra stops to his trip.  As the station began to fill up again for the next train, he noticed that he was standing right next to a transit cop leaning up against one of the platform posts.  The cop looked like he was taking his break.

“How’s it going?” Jack asked him, but the cop just nodded his head slightly in Jack’s direction without changing his bored expression.

“You pretty much work the A,C,E?” Jack tried again.

“Whasit to ya?” the cop responded.

“Nothing, nothing” and there was a long pause as the two men stood side by side, glancing around the platform, but not at each other.  As if trying to get the cop to help him paint an imaginary fence, Jack continued, “You’re not MTA, but I was just thinking you might know why the trains are all messed up is all.”

“Oh that, its nuthin too big, uh, last night the B caught fire at 125th and everythin stopped for a few hours.  Aroun the same time, there was a mess on the E at Queens Plaza – some homeys capped a prenant lady and threw her on the tracks.  She was sumthin though; they say she pulled herself back t the platform before the next train came.  You don see that every day.  No ya don.  The MTA is still catchin up is all; by this afternoon  they’ll be O.K.”

Just as he finished a late middle-aged couple stopped to interrupt.  They looked perplexed.

“Sir, you’re a policeman, aren’t you?  George my husband thought we shouldn’t bother you, but we’re from Ohio and we don’t have a subway.  Can you help us?”

George looked like he wished he were back in Ohio.  He had the basic Lonely Planet attire, a baseball cap with New York City printed on the front, a collared shirt with Canton Auto Body on the breast pocket, shorts that were too short, knee-length white tube socks covered with tennis shoes, and a camera slung over his shoulder.  His wife looked like she shopped at the same store, and also sported the ubiquitous fanny pack.  They did have a subway map but were having trouble making any sense of it.

“We want to go to the Guggenheim Museum, there is a Picasso exhibit that my pottery teacher told me about.  We started out at the Marriott Hotel in Times Square, and George thought we should walk, but I wanted to have a real New York City experience so I dragged him into the subway, but my George doesn’t have the best sense of direction and before we knew it we ended up here. Are we close to the Guggenheim?  As I said we don’t have subways in Ohio, or at least not in Canton, I think there’s a small one in Cleveland, but -.”  George reached up and put a hand on his wife’s shoulder, gave her a slight squeeze and she finally stopped talking.  He smiled wanly in the cop’s direction.

“The Guggenhein is on the uppa east side, you’re on the uppa west,” the transit cop said indifferently.  “You’ll havta get on a train goin uptown on the otha side,” he added pointing to the platform across the tracks, as he gazed away from the couple who he was clearly not interested in having any further dealings with.

A slightly built man with thick black-rimmed glasses poked his head in front of several people, and in a whiney, nasal-sounding voice called out to them, “the best way to the Guggenheim is to walk over to Lex and take the IRT.”

“IRT,” yelled a small bearded man with a yarmulke, “no that’s not it!”

He turned to the couple that looked more confused than before and spoke very quickly.  “You follow that advice, you leave the subway, you pay another fare – no, no, you go over to the downtown A train – its an express, it takes you directly to 42nd Street, you get off there and find the 7 train and take it over to Grand Central and change to the – ”

“The 7? What irya tryin to do, send em to a Mets game or somethin,” chimed in a third, “I was born on the subway, its simple…”

The C train charged into the station drowning out the third man’s directions, all Jack heard as he got aboard was the same guy calling out to the couple left alone on the platform,

“You’ll be fine, be there in half an howa max.”

As the train pulled away Jack chuckled to himself thinking how the world usually viewed New York City as an unfriendly place.  As the train rocked downtown, he thought about the tourists.  They should have walked to the Guggenheim on a day like today.  Central Park would have been glorious.  He was thinking this just as the train pulled into the 14th Street station.

Maybe it was the thought of those tourists walking through the lush green of the park or the picture-perfect day outside, or maybe it was the rut he was complaining about to his admin the day before, but Jack out of the blue decided to get out at 14th and walk.

Hardly ever this impulsive, it was even more unusual since Jack rarely walked anywhere that he couldn’t take a bus, taxi or subway.  Like most New Yorkers, he felt it a sin to waste any time – getting somewhere or otherwise.  As he walked up the subway steps, Jack thought about how there really wasn’t anything all that pressing at work.  His boss would already be at the tech conference that started at 7 AM, and she had told him to skip it this year.  He wouldn’t see her until at least nine, and he could easily walk downtown in less than 20 minutes, so for once, time wasn’t his enemy.  He smiled as he reached the top of the steps and sauntered out into the sunshine.

Jack had never before walked through this neighborhood on a weekday morning.  It was a part of the city with dozens of small businesses and quaint shops.  He walked along as the shop owners swept and hosed down the sidewalk, or chatted with one another about the beautiful day.

He slowed to watch a flower shop fill a huge display of different plants and flowers.  Tulips, daisies, wheatgrass, roses, daffodils, and azaleas – the view was an orgy of color that would have made any artist excited.  As the shop owner sprayed water on the plants, the mist beautifully reflected the long morning rays of the sun.  To Jack, it was like a scene out of a movie, and for a fleeting moment, he had a feeling of what he was missing in his busy urban life – what was passing him by.  Without any idea or plan, Jack approached the shop.  He picked out a single gorgeous daffodil with the water dripping off it like dew.  Jack’s insouciance must have been contagious as the elderly shop owner gave it to him for free.

As he turned to leave the front of the store, he noticed an older woman down the sidewalk coming his way.  She had a kerchief wrapped around her head and a light gray shawl pulled over her shoulders.  She walked with a certain purpose, yet stooped as she pulled along a two-wheel cart, with a worn expression on her face.  She could have fit in just as easily in Kyiv or Gdansk as in lower Manhattan.  Maybe he wanted to share his newfound awakening, or at least his lighthearted mood, because as the woman approached he stopped and gave the flower to her.  After catching her eye, he flashed a smile and kept on walking.  She straightened up and turned to watch him go by.  A small smile came across her face as she sniffed the flower.  She glanced over at the shop owner who laughed and jeered at her.  She chuckled to herself, shook her head, and continued on her way still sniffing the flower.

Jack continued walking downtown passing many more shops.  As he approached one not yet visible around the next corner, his gait slowed to a crawl as he sniffed the air.  The wonderful smell that suddenly hit him, getting stronger with every step he took – was heavenly.  It was a fresh yeasty dough kind of smell and it made Jack’s mouth water.  As he turned the corner he saw that the name of the shop was Annie’s Bakery.

Not only did the place smell great, but it also had a Parisian café feel to it.  Several small tables were surrounding the shop on the sidewalk – most were showered with sunshine.  Jack took in the picture and thought what a perfect beginning to a perfect morning – and why not stop, he had already broken every other morning ritual.  Today, there would be no fast food coffee and a bagel from the roach coach; he was going to live a little.

He entered the bakery and they seemed to make everything. Everywhere he looked there were baskets and displays of baked goods – fresh rolls, all types of bread, scones, bagels, cakes, cookies, and Jack’s favorite, croissants.  In addition, they had all types of gourmet teas and coffees and a special chocolate drink they made from a secret recipe called Annie’s Chocolate Delight.  Jack found a woman behind the counter of the shop.

“Would you be Annie,” Jack asked the woman behind the counter?  She was petite, wearing a white chef’s coat, and with her bobbed blonde hair was exceptionally, well…cute.

“I am.  We only opened a few days ago, so please excuse the lack of selection.”  They both swept the crammed shelves and bins chock full of all sorts of delightful baked goods, looked at each other, and both laughed out loud, “well, maybe I’ve been a little obsessive.” It was a fun moment that when the laughter subsided, there was a pregnant pause that caused an almost embarrassing moment as each took an extra look at one another beyond the customer-clerk engagement.

A bit unnerved Jack blurted out, “ I think you’re going to be a big hit.  You look great – I mean, um, your place looks great.  Another pause settled between them as they looked into each other’s eyes. “All you have to do is bottle that great smell of yours and spread it around the neighborhood a little.”  He paused as she began looking at him with a questioning look,  “No, um, no…I mean the bakery, the fresh dough…not you…not your smell, you smell great too, but I meant the bakery.”

After a few more seconds of looking into each other’s eyes, Jack’s face began turning a bright shade of pink.  He tried to change the subject and asked, “How about a few of those croissants, can you make one chocolate?”

Annie smiled and chuckled to herself as she went to retrieve the croissants.  She noticed how tall and handsome he looked, dressed in a beautifully fitted dark blue suit.  A lot of customers flirted with her, but she got a different vibe from this one.  There was something genuine about him.  She could also sense that he was a good guy, and he had a great smile.  Over her shoulder, she asked, “You seem to like chocolate how about a glass of Chocolate Delight?”

“I’m not so sure, just the sound of it has my arteries clogging up.  What’s the big secret anyway?

“You’ll love it and it’s not too fattening or too sweet.  It’s made from special Venezuelan chocolate, with a little fresh vanilla bean, powdered pralines, and the freshest milk I can buy.  It’s really good – live a little.”

Jack headed outside with his two croissants and a tall glass of something he was sure wasn’t on his personal trainer’s top ten list.  Not that the croissants were either.  He stationed himself at a table so he could look down West Broadway toward the downtown skyline.  He loved the view of all the tall buildings as the old skyscrapers blended in with the new.  He liked the fact that his was the tallest.  He also made sure that the sunshine flooded his table and that he had a good view of the people as they strolled by.  Being in the city for the past eight years, he never got tired of people watching.

His mind wandered back to Annie, he wished he had asked for her phone number.  She seemed different somehow.  He also noticed she didn’t have a ring on her finger.  But he frequently said this to himself since he rarely ever asked a woman for her phone number.  He was really shy when it came to that sort of thing – but as he tried her chocolate drink he had to smile – she was right, it was awesome.  He was thinking that all she could do was say no.  It wouldn’t be that humiliating.

Jack stood up to go back inside.  He glanced at his watch to check the time and was saved by the bell once again.  It was almost ten of nine.  He would have to hurry down West Broadway if he was going to make it before his boss came down from the conference.  He sighed and thought to himself that there would be other Annie’s.

As he was thinking this, he heard a loud roar and looked all around wondering what it was.  He looked up.  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw an amazing site – an extremely low flying passenger jet.  He could almost see the faces of the people in the window.  Before he had a chance to collect his thoughts, the plane roared right over him, seemingly speeding up as it flew by overhead.  A few seconds later it disappeared crashing into what looked like his building about two-thirds of the way up the tower.  He blinked several times not registering what he had just seen.  It seemed so surreal.  He couldn’t fathom what his eyes had just witnessed, but in just a few moments he quickly came out of his stupor.  Several women came screaming out into the street.  People began pouring out of their stores and shops, all staring up at the Trade Towers that now seemed much closer than their 9-10 block distance. A few seconds later everyone scattered for the sidewalk as if out of nowhere a fire truck came screaming around the corner with its siren blaring and barreled past them down the street.

Annie came up to Jack and asked, “What happened?”

Without averting his eyes from the Tower, Jack answered, “I’m not sure, but I think a jetliner crashed into one of the Trade Towers.  It just disintegrated into the building.”

Jack in shock, unemotionally droned on, “ I saw the whole thing, and I’m pretty sure that it was my building – and it looked like it crashed into the area where my office is.”  He looked down at Annie as if he had known her forever and for the first time realized that he had to do something.

“I have to get down to work.”  He started to leave when Annie grabbed his arm and said, “You can’t go down there, they’ll have police and rescue people everywhere.  Don’t you remember what happened in ’93?”

“I know, but I have to do something.”

“The only help you can give is to stay away and let the cops and fireman handle it.  My God, I wonder how many people were on the plane. Are you sure that the tower the plane crashed into was your building?”

“Positive.  It’s definitely the North Tower that’s full of smoke.”  For the next five minutes or so they both silently stared at the tower as it billowed black smoke and the fire raged. They could hear siren after siren blowing by on their street and the streets surrounding the neighborhood as rescue workers streamed to the site of the crash.  A dozen thoughts were running through Jack’s head. Did the plane crash into his floor?  Did it crash above or below?  How was his boss?  His admin?  He knew tons of people in the building.  Were they O.K.?  He suddenly felt guilty for not being there.  He knew Annie was right, but he felt as if he must do something – but what?

“Do you realize Annie that I should be in that building right now?  Normally, I’m at work by 7:30.  It’s now after nine and this is the first time that I have ever gone in late.  Instead of being here with you, I would be at my desk and…” Jack stopped talking. There was nothing at that moment left to say.

Jack slowly looked back up and concentrated his attention on the North Tower as the realization swept over him.  He had a very solemn look as a small tear trickled down his cheek.

They stood side by side, looking straight ahead as she slipped her hand into his and gave a gentle squeeze, not realizing that their day was only just beginning.

Open post

Fire in the Belly

Sunshine streamed in through the large bay windows as a few men polished the chrome and others repacked hose.  It had been fairly quiet all day with only a handful of false alarms up at Ridley Hall in College Town.  It was amazing that this alarm was tripping at least once a day for a week and the glitch hadn’t been isolated.  Of course, each time Engine Two and Truck Three had made the half-hour round trip to investigate.  To Bob, this seemed absolutely ridiculous, but the guys he was covering didn’t complain at all.  They just seemed to take it in stride and not get fazed, regardless of the frustration.

Bob was a freelance writer who had been given an assignment by the New York Times Magazine to do a story on an unusual group of city workers in Ithaca, a small Upstate New York city dominated by Ithaca College and Cornell.  A college town in every way similar to the fabled Farber of Animal House, Ithaca had for years run a program with both schools offering a job and free room (no board) to any male student in need of financial aid.  The unusual aspect was the job the town provided.  For the commitment of at least one year, the town would provide housing at their Central Fire Station and a job starting at $9,000 per year as an entry-level fireman – or Fire Bunker, as they were called.

Bob watched the men go about their mundane duties in the fire bays.  There were three engines and one truck stationed at Central.  The engines held hundreds of yards of various sized hoses and pumped the water from the city’s water hydrant system to the hoses used to fight a fire.  Truck Three was a very long ladder truck that had a cherry picker and because of its length, it had an extra cab on the back to steer the rear wheels to navigate turns quickly and efficiently.  There were also two small pick-up trucks to ferry the chiefs to the scene.  Bob had been sitting off to the side for the past three hours, fully dressed in boots, pants, coat, and helmet, periodically slapping a pair of gloves against his thigh.  Being from The Times, and against the Chief’s wishes, the Mayor had granted him full access, which also meant that he could join the Bunkers on any call he wished.

Bob was dozing on and off when finally the internal bells in the station went off – and they were loud.  Immediately men began dropping through the fire bay ceiling from four different points, sliding down fire poles.  They landed with a loud thud and in a determined way walked over to their assigned vehicle and climb aboard.  They quietly chatted amongst themselves, fully believing that they were on their way to another false alarm.

⇐⇒

The Bunker program had begun after World War II as a post-depression era solution to higher education.  A big success in the Ozzie and Harriet ’50s, when civic duty was still a priority, the program endured through the radical 60s, the Vietnam 70s, the punk rock 80s, and the dot-com 90s.  Except for people in the firemen’s world and a few admissions officers at local area schools, most weren’t aware it existed, even in Ithaca. Most people Bob asked around town, told him that the Fire Department was made up of paid professionals. There was no reason for them to notice anything else.

Outwardly, the Bunkers blended in well with the veterans, but the differences were stark. The salary was less than half what a career-minded entry-level fireman received, and the accommodations were very spartan.  They mirrored what Bob thought was similar to a marine barracks. The bunker quarters were each comprised of ten single beds, with a metal side table and that was it. The walls were cinder block, painted off white, and there were two small windows at ceiling height without curtains. The floor was yellowing linoleum with small black flecks. There were a pair of boots with thick yellow pants and suspenders sticking out of them standing abreast of every single bed – as if waiting for someone to jump into them feet first.

In a corner of the room, there was a pole attached to the ceiling that ran down through the floor.  Next to the pole along the wall were long yellow coats hanging one after the other, each with a black fire helmet together hung on a hook. They looked like sentries, leaning up against the wall waiting for the bell. There was nothing else in the room at all – no personal effects or alarm clocks or pictures. All the Bunker’s personal items had to be kept in a large locker. Basically, a cupboard that opened with two doors and consisted of a small set of drawers and a place to hang clothes, and that was it.

In itself, the Bunker program would make a nice story, but more was needed to have attracted the interest of The Times, and that “more” was Jake O’Conner. Jake was, at the time of Bob’s visit, a sophomore at Ithaca College. He had been a Bunker for about a year and a half starting in his freshman year, and never in his wildest dreams was being a fireman anywhere on the list.

⇐⇒

Jake was the last of five children from a middle-class Irish family and was a perfect fit for the Bunker Program. His family believed strongly in higher education, but the money had run out by the time it was Jake’s turn. He also had a distant Uncle that was a career fireman, and both his Dad and his oldest brother were alums of Ithaca College. When it was all added up, the admissions office already had Jake signed up before he was even notified of being accepted at the school. Before he knew it, he was at the Ithaca Fire Training Center, a few weeks before school began.

Jake was an exceptional athlete and a natural leader. In high school, he was captain of the soccer and basketball teams and was the MVP in soccer his senior year. He had been brought up by a father who was an extremely successful college coach, and a mother who was a librarian and supported and pushed him to excel. If being a firefighter were in the cards for Jake, he would do what it took to excel at that too.

It seemed that Jake was born to fight fires. Everything came easily to him, and it wasn’t the skill of handling a two and a half-inch hose with 1,000 pounds per square inch of pressure or scampering up and down ladders with flames licking at his heels – it was that Jake just looked like a firefighter.  The fire gear he wore seemed to fit as if he were about to model it down a fashion runway.  It wasn’t that he was so great looking, but without trying he had the part down as if he were the star of a fire-fighting movie.

Not long after joining as a Fire Bunker, he got noticed more broadly outside of the firehouse during a fully involved five-story sorority house fire in Cornell’s College Town neighborhood. After the house was declared a goner, and all of the firefighters were called out, it was learned that there was someone trapped in an upper room.  Jake was just coming off the roof after ventilating the building when he heard the screams. He slid down Truck Three’s huge ladder and when he got to the floor where the screams had come from, glass and all, he dove through a window. After a few tense moments, totally surrounded by smoke, he emerged with the girl and carried her down the ladder to safety.

It didn’t hurt that the local TV station had a camera crew there and caught the whole thing on tape. It was such dramatic footage that a number of TV stations across the state picked up the feed and aired it on their news programs – including a quick sound bite of Jake explaining that the glass couldn’t keep him out – and that maybe when the Coed was better he could finally get a date. It wasn’t before long that letters from women all over the state started flowing into the Central Fire Station, asking if Jake would take them out. He was razzed to no end by the rest of the guys.

⇐⇒

As the alarm bells sounded, Bob stood off to the side not sure what to do when he felt his coat being grabbed from behind. It was Jake who checked Bob’s gear and helped him button up his coat all the way. Bob followed Jake onto the back of Engine Two. In Ithaca, the back really meant the back.  The Bunkers had a tradition of riding to all calls by standing on the back platform of the engine and holding on to a bar positioned over the hose bed. Winter or summer the residents of Ithaca could see their firemen in plain sight, sometimes hanging on for dear life if they were heading to a “worker,” (a fully involved blaze). Jake showed Bob how to slide his arm under the bar and hook his elbow joint around it to keep from falling off. He tightened his chin strap for him and made sure that he had his gloves on correctly while telling Bob to stay right by his side and do whatever he said. As they pulled out of the station, the last thing Bob heard was the loudspeaker crackle, “heavy smoke at South Side Fuels.”

⇐⇒

Fire after fire, Jake was always in the thick of things. He was quickly made lead attack firefighter and shortly thereafter Lieutenant of Company No. 4, and was always the first to enter most fire scenes.  At a particularly nasty worker that burnt down an entire block of State Street, Jake had led an entire family out of the back of a building, moments before it collapsed to the ground. He later said that he was very lucky to just be at the right place at the right time.

News stories just seemed to follow Jake around that year, and like at State Street, he was in the right place when it counted. There was a very large goat cheese manufacturer, located just outside of town that was having trouble making ends meet. The owners had no trouble making cheese, but they had no clue how to handle two hundred goats. It wasn’t before long that a call came in reporting that the huge barn at the goat farm was on fire. Being a full ten miles out of town, by the time the firefighters arrived the barn was fully ablaze. It was an amazing sight as there was little smoke and the thick rafters of the upper half of the barn and its roof were still intact and between each burned what could only be called a furious fire. The barn’s wood was so dry that it burned a gorgeous deep orange. Jake, like the rest of his mates, wasn’t there to save the building as they could tell right away that it was a total loss.

As they set up their hoses to surround and drown the building to keep the fire from spreading to the farmhouse, Jake could hear loud wailing coming from inside the barn.  He grabbed a fire pole, a long pike-shaped tool, crept up to the side of the barn, and hacked a small hole through the burning siding.  He could see through the smoke inside that a large herd of goats was pushing on the door of the barn trying to get out.

Jake ran to the door and noticed it was padlocked shut. With flames ready to pounce on him, he stared with disgust toward the farmhouse, where the owners were looking out their windows at the fire. With one swift whack of his pole, he knocked the lock off its clasp and the doors blew open. Jake was bowled to the ground as a sea of goats rushed over him out into the open air. As it happened, the great goat rescue was once again captured on film. Merely by accident, a local newspaper photographer clicked his shutter just as Jake did his thing and the goats piled over him.

The image was so good that it was picked up by every wire service in the country, eventually being printed in over 300 newspapers nationwide (many in color on the front page).  The picture won the photographer a “photo of the year” award. More importantly to Jake, the goat farmers were successfully prosecuted for arson and insurance fraud – never to harm innocent goats again.

⇐⇒

They blew through intersection after intersection with the siren constantly blaring, and it finally occurred to Bob that his George Plimpton act might not be such a great idea. Riding with the Chief earlier that week, Bob had been to a few fire calls and noticed how the guys pounced on a fire scene once they arrived and wasted no time getting the hydrant hooked up and investigating the building. From what he had heard on the loudspeaker, this was no false alarm, and the look on the faces of the guys surrounding him was grim. Only Jake looked the same as always, and as he was to stay by Jake’s side, Bob became a little more confident – but not by much.

As the engine approached, Bob could smell smoke and he tried to peer over the cab of the truck to get a better view. He could only see a sign that read, “South Side Fuels, serving Ithaca’s oil and propane needs.” One of the guys mumbled something about this being a refueling station, as the fire engine pulled into the parking lot and ground to a halt.

Normally, at this stage of a call with a working fire in front of them, the men would be scurrying like bees in a hive, but the danger was telling as everyone just peered at the fire from where they stood.  They made sure for protection that some part of the engine was between themselves and the fire. Most of the guys didn’t know what was inside, but with fuel as part of the company’s name, they weren’t too keen on trying to find out.

Jake got everybody’s attention quickly thereafter.  He got a group of the guys to get a hydrant attached to the engine, and from a good distance to begin setting up a few two and a half stations just in case.  He then grabbed Bob by the arm and told him something he was hoping he would never hear, “Let’s go take a closer look and see what we’ve got.”  Bob felt he had no choice but to follow.

They both squatted down about 100 feet from the building to survey the scene.  There were two large and tall one-story buildings that were attached by a roof that seemed to be high enough for a truck to drive under.  The buildings were smoking a lot more than when they first arrived, but Bob couldn’t see any fire yet.  He looked over his shoulder back at the entrance to the parking lot, hoping for some help, but there was still only one engine and everyone seemed to be doing something.  Bob’s attention was jerked back to the fire when he heard a loud bang coming from the closest building.  Just then a wisp of fire shot out of a window and snuck back inside.  Jake tapped Bob’s shoulder and pointed toward the space between the buildings, “I want to see if we can save the other building – it may not be involved yet. Let’s go!”  Bob wanted to run in the other direction, but something made him nod his head.  Neither of them had air tanks, but Bob had figured that Jake hadn’t bothered with them because he wouldn’t be going inside.  As they approached the buildings the smoke began to get really thick and Bob wished he had stayed back by the truck.

Both Bob and Jake were now just outside of the drive-through area.  It was so smoky that Jake had Bob lie on the ground where the air was a little clearer.  Jake’s radio crackled, “We just got word that there are three oil truck bays in each building.  Can you tell me if there are any trucks currently inside?  We need to know if we should evacuate the area.  A lot of kids live around here…” As Bob listened to this message from the Chief, the smoke was so thick that he couldn’t see anything.  Worst of all he couldn’t breathe.  Everything in front of his burning eyes was grey.  He began to notice black spots that were moving fast by his head.  As one approached he saw Jake’s nose and face push out of the dark smoke, literally breathe in the black spot, and disappear back into the gray void.  Another spot came cruising by and Bob mimicked Jake, breathing in the cool air and relieving an edge of the anxiety-filled panic that was overcoming him.

Just as Bob felt that he couldn’t take anymore, the wind shifted and the smoke completely lifted.  He saw Jake squatting close to the ground right next to him.  He turned and grabbed Bob by the coat collar and dragged him to the door of the closest building.  Bob crouched next to Jake as he tried the door.  It must have been locked because Jake got up and immediately began kicking it with a fury.

Right then the radio crackled again, but only Bob heard it over the racket Jake was making. “We just caught up with the owners Jake, you don’t want to know what they’ve told us – just get the hell out of there now!”  Bob approached Jake from behind to tell him that he was leaving, just as the door flew open.  Bob could see right into the building and despite the heat, a freezing cold streak shot through him.  Lined up along each wall as far as he could see were propane tanks – five and six deep. He saw what looked like two propane filling stations just to the right of the door.  In the center was a smoldering chassis of a large truck that had been melted to the floor with only the tires left smoldering.  The fire was mostly confined to the ceiling toward the far end of the building, but Bob noticed right away that the flames were moving quickly in their direction – apparently drawn by the surge of oxygen provided by the open door.

Jake turned to Bob and yelled, “Try to beat me back to the engine – let’s go, now!”

Jake and Bob got about five or six strides toward the engine and away from the horror they had just witnessed when hell was finally unleashed.  Too late, the Chief had learned from the fuel company owners that in addition to the full oil trucks parked in the buildings, there were about 1,500 propane tanks, but most importantly there were two 30,000-gallon gas tanks buried below the surface.

Bob felt as if he were run over by a truck as he lay on the ground not more than 10 feet from the engine.  Somehow he had made the 100 feet back to the engine, but he didn’t know how.  He couldn’t hear anything, but he felt himself being dragged along the ground.  He looked up and saw Jake pulling on his coat sleeve.  He thought he was seeing things because all of the logos and reflection tape on Jake’s coat were blurry, but he wasn’t as they were melted.  His helmet looked like a skullcap with all of its edges chipped away.  After a few feet, Bob pulled himself to his feet.  He gave Jake a wink and walked the remaining feet to the other side of the fire engine.  As he made the turn he glanced back toward the fire and noticed that no part of the buildings was left standing, but there was what appeared to be a forty-foot high flame shooting into the sky like a giant Bic lighter.  Both he and Jake pointed at each other and began hollering for joy at the top of their lungs.  They hugged each other, danced in a circle, and burst out laughing.

⇐⇒

Days later, Bob sat at his desk late at night staring at a blank screen on his laptop. He held a glass of 16-year-old Lagavulin single malt scotch in one hand, and a picture of a burnt South Side Fuels in the other.  He shook his head, flicked off his computer, and as he left his study thoughts of new topics that would interest his editor at the Times ran through his head.

 

Open post

A Most Unexpected Gift

Greg was in his basement office reviewing the night’s receipts. It had been a pretty busy dinner at Nathan’s and Greg’s eyes were blurred looking at the numbers. As the General Manager, he usually arrived early in the morning and managed the staff through the lunch hour leaving around six or seven in the evening, but today was different.  Sean, his night manager, had scored tickets to a rare Redskins Thursday night game and had begged Greg to cover for him.  Being that it was 10 PM, Greg had been on the job since seven that morning and he was dead tired.  He was on his third pass through the Visa charges and so far none of his totals matched.  As he reached for his cup of coffee, he heard a loud thud hit the floor just above him.  Dust sprinkled down on his head and onto his desk from the building’s 100 year old floorboards.  As worn out as he was, he climbed the stairs two at a time and within seconds was in the bar area where he figured to find the disturbance.

Nathan’s Bar and Grill is a Georgetown institution.  It has graced the coveted corner of Wisconsin and M Street for decades.  Once a pretty rough bar in the heart of a rowdy part of town, where a shot and a beer was the usual call, Nathan’s hadn’t experienced a bar fight in years.  Over time Washington had changed from a swampy backwater where foreign diplomats were awarded hazard pay, to a sleepy southern city with a ragged edge, to a cosmopolitan metropolis fitting of the most important city of the most important nation on Earth.

Georgetown was a neighborhood of D.C. where tourists descended after a day of traipsing through the city’s museums and monuments for a bit of shopping, a bite to eat, or a beer or two or three.  Along the way, Nathan’s had mirrored the city’s evolution and presented a much softer image in its current rendering.  It now had beautiful paintings and photos of famous sailing yachts on the walls (the owner was a big sailor), and it was the kind of place where you would meet a friend before heading out on the town over a glass of chardonnay and an order of crab cakes.

The main dining area was separate from the saloon that sported the original gorgeously maintained mahogany back bar dating back to the 1880s.  The bar was just starting to get crowded, and most of the patrons were gathered in front of the large bay windows overlooking one of the best corners for people watching in the city.   Stepping into the bar area, Greg noticed a man trying to pull himself up from the floor.  There were three couples, mostly in their late twenties that were somewhat standing over the man as he slowly stood up.

As Greg approached the fracas, he quickly surmised that the man on the floor had had way too much to drink.  Greg put his hands on his hips and slowly turned toward the bartender with a “how could you “ look on his face.

The barman innocently raised his hands as if to surrender and said, “Not a drop from this bar boss.”

The couples had been trying to help the man sit down on a barstool when for some unknown reason he took a wild punch at the nearest person, lost his balance, and fell to the floor.  Greg being only five foot six was easy to overlook, and none of the couples noticed that he was the manager.  They ignored him and began all talking at once.

“Look at him now, he doesn’t seem like he’s going to cause much trouble”

“I can’t believe he took a punch at you, he’s so baked he can barely see”

“He’s absolutely bombed, let’s try to get him into a cab and send him home”

“We can’t help this guy, just look at him, he’s a disgusting mess.”

“Yeah, he couldn’t even tell us his address

The man was sitting on the floor blankly staring up at the group towering over him when he suddenly raised his hand and shouted, “Hold it!”

Everyone had stopped talking and stared down at him. He slowly blinked as his eyeballs rolled back into his head.  When he reopened his eyes.  He then loudly called out to no one in particular, “3415 Cathedral Avenue.” There was a long pregnant pause until the drunken man began singing The Beatle’s “Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band” with all the words jumbled up.

Just as Greg readied himself to escort the guy out of the bar, a woman came towards them wedging her way through as the crowd parted behind her.  It was strange until Greg saw who was following her.

“There he is officer. He took a swing at us and has been bothering us for the last half hour.  You’d think that a place like this wouldn’t put up with people like that.”

“O.K. lady, take it easy.”  John and Kevin were the Georgetown beat cops that worked most nights.  Greg knew them well but hadn’t seen either in quite a while.

Kevin went over to get the drunk man up on to his feet as John walked up to Greg with a smirk, “Well, well, what has you working on a Thursday night, I don’t think I’ve seen you in seven or eight months.”

“And it’ll be twelve months before you see me again once I’m done getting payback from Sean!”  Knowing the question coming next about Sean his Night Manager, Greg added, “He’s at the Skins game tonight.”

John led the drunken man by his neck over to where his partner was talking with Greg, “So what do we have here,” he asked them?

The group of couples began telling what had happened.  As they were talking, the man tried to take a halfhearted swing at Greg, but John held him at a harmless arm’s length away.  Greg backed away a few steps to take a better look at the man.  He seemed to be about fifty, and his hair was sticking up in all sorts of directions held askew by the gel that he obviously was very fond of using, based on the amount in his hair.  He was dressed in what looked to be a super expensive Armani suit that had large mud stains smeared over one whole side of his body.  He had a Hermes tie that was barely hanging off his neck and a kerchief that was stuffed clumsily into the lapel pocket.  Half in and half out of the side pocket of his suit coat was a women’s brassiere and panties, and hanging out of just about every other pocket were large chunks of fresh grass and weeds.  Greg noticed that the man was also wearing a Rolex Oyster on his wrist.

Something didn’t add up.  He was definitely a mess, but underneath all of the mud, weeds, grass, and drunkenness there seemed to be a pretty substantial foundation.  Maybe it was Greg’s years of working in the restaurant business that prompted him to find the best in people.  There were so many times that he had covered for men out on dates without their wives or business executives interviewing for better jobs under the noses of their bosses that he was prone to protect and serve.  Maybe not like the police, but it was effective at times in helping make the world go round a bit more smoothly.

Greg walked into the middle of the couple’s explanation to the police, and with a wan smile on his face, imitating the drunken man he held up his hand and shouted, “Hold it!”

Everyone stopped and looked at Greg.  He walked over to the bartender and said, “Give me two Jacksons.”  The bartender opened the register and handed him two twenty-dollar bills,  “…and crack open a bottle of Cliquot for these six people on me,” as he pointed to the three couples.  He then walked over to the cops and looked John in the eye, “This is your lucky night.  I’m about to save you two hours of paperwork.  You can thank me when you see me again…next year.”  With that, Greg grabbed the drunken man by the arm and yanked him through the crowd and out onto Wisconsin Ave.

A cab immediately pulled up and Greg pushed the man into the back seat.  He leaned through the front passenger seat window and told the cabbie, “Take this man to 3415 Cathedral Avenue.  If he asks you to take him any place else ignore him. Here’s a twenty for the three dollar fare, and another twenty for your trouble, and this is my card, if there’s any problem, call me.”  As the car pulled away he thought that it was probably not such a great idea to give him his card, but it was too late to worry about now.

“I told you not to sign any of the liquor orders without fully checking everything on the invoice.  How many times do I have to tell you not to do this? Just go upstairs and polish something, will ya?”  Greg was in a foul mood from the minute he stepped into the building.  He slept all of three hours the night before and had been snapping at everybody.  He hadn’t thought at all about the events of the night before.  He had experienced just about everything in the past fifteen years in the business, and it was his nature to quickly turn the page from past events.  It seemed to help keep his life from becoming too monotonous.

After a while, Greg went upstairs to get his eighth cup of coffee of the day.  On days like this, he would go through ten to fifteen cups and half of those were usually double espressos.  He ambled into the bar area looking to find the steward.  He wanted to let him know that he really wasn’t mad at him about the liquor order and that he should try to ignore any future venom that Greg may toss his way before the end of the day.

The steward wasn’t there, but Greg couldn’t help but notice a beautiful antique Bentley parking right in front of the restaurant.   An impeccably dressed man carrying a leather briefcase got out of the back of the car and came right into the restaurant.  He wore a very conservative three-piece suit that was accentuated by the sheer size of the man.  His hair had a touch of gray around the temples and he possessed a neatly trimmed mustache to top off his very distinguished presentation.  Towering over Greg, he walked up, handed him a card, and in a very deep voice asked, “Could you please fetch me this man?”  Greg looked at the business card and noticed it was his.

Greg looked up at this man and asked, “What should I tell him is the nature of your business?”

“That would be a personal matter between Mr. Dougherty and myself.  Please be a sport and tell him there is someone here to see him.”

Greg paused and looked up hesitantly into the man’s face and finally said, “That won’t be necessary as I’m Greg Dougherty.  Are you interested in holding a private party here at Nathan’s?”

“I’m afraid not, but I really must insist that I speak with Mr. Dougherty and Mr. Dougherty only.”

“I assure you that I am one and the same.  What is this all about?”

“Very well Mr. Dougherty, allow me to take a little of the mystery out of my visit.  I represent a very grateful individual that appreciates a man who understands what a true sense of discretion can mean.  Although he is not prone to exhibit poor judgment often, my employer recognizes that at times it’s possible to find oneself in a compromising situation.”

“You work for the frustrated groundskeeper, from last night.”

“An interesting choice of words Mr. Dougherty, and although they wouldn’t be my choice, I can see how they might be appropriate.  Yes, Mr. Dougherty, I represent Lawn Mower Man, but let’s keep that between us shall we?”

“No problem.  Tell your employer that I accept his thanks, but that he might want to choose a few other nightspots for the immediate future as D.C.’s finest won’t be as lenient next time.”  Greg offered to shake the man’s hand in an effort to end the meeting and get on with the day, but the man merely ignored him.  He looked over his shoulder and loudly snapped his fingers in the direction of the Bentley.  As Greg watched through the window a man in a uniform with a chauffeur’s hat got out of the car, walked back to the trunk and pulled out an enormous bunch of long stem roses, and brought them into the bar handing them to Greg.  There were at least four dozen.  Embarrassed, Greg placed the bouquet on the bar.  The chauffeur removed his cap, reached into an inside pocket of his coat, and pulled out an ornate envelope, handing it to Greg. Without saying a word he clicked his heels together and tilted his head in Greg’s direction and strode out of the restaurant.

“I trust that you will be able to maintain your high level of discretion concerning this matter for a long time to come.  Thank you and have a good day.”  With that, the tall man followed the chauffeur out to the Bentley, and it quickly pulled away.

Greg stood staring out the window for quite a long time trying to digest what had just happened.  He was standing there when one of his favorite wine salesmen, Patrick, walked in to get the week’s order. Patrick was more than a professional acquaintance to Greg.  They had a lot of the same friends and hung out together outside of work.

“Man Greg what’s up with you?  You look like you’ve been sitting with five fat women in a Volkswagen.” Patrick had said this same line about a hundred times, but each time he’d laugh at himself in a way that was more fun that his silly comment and usually others would chuckle along. Realizing Greg’s mind was elsewhere, he asked, “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, I’m fine but the damnedest thing just happened to me.  Did you see that old Bentley just pull out?”  Greg went on to tell Patrick about the tall man, the chauffeur, and the events of the night before.

Patrick eyed the ornate envelope and listened to the story getting more agitated by the minute as Greg slowly relayed all the details of what happened from the night before and into the morning. Eventually, he couldn’t stand it any longer and blurted out, “So open the letter already for Christ’s sake!”  Greg looked at Patrick a bit hesitantly, not sure what the letter’s contents may contain, but he gingerly pulled back the flap and pulled out a piece of fine parchment.

Dear Greg,

I can’t thank you enough for your help last night.  Without your actions, my life and career would have been in severe jeopardy.  It is men such as yourself that help maintain a high level of valor in this world. 

I want to do something more for you than a simple thank you. Taped to the inside of the envelope that Karl left, you will find a key. 

If you proceed approximately 50 miles east to the village of Annapolis and go to slip 213 at the Harbor Marina, Switch will be waiting for you.  The key will let you in.  I have not seen Switch for over three years and have no future plans to do so.  She is yours to use at your leisure.  She’s a fine girl, a 40 foot C&C racing cruiser, and I’m sure you’ll be pleased with her.

Thank you again and good luck,

Fritz 

They both looked at each other and began to howl.

After a few minutes, they calmed down and both sat on a stool with their backs to the bar. Greg rolled the key to Switch between his fingers in thought. Then he asked Patrick, “I’ll be off at 3, can you meet me here?” Not waiting for an answer and in true manager mode, he added, “And tell Mike, Rick, and K.C. to come too, after 3 years we’ll need help scrubbing the deck?

 

Open post

The Cricket’s Soiree

It was just after dinner on a warm late spring evening in Newfane, a small town in the far reaches of western New York State. It was the late 1960’s, and I had turned seven a few months before, just finishing the second grade.

Lazy clouds were floating across a blue sky, and the glow of long rays of the sun put a gauzy filter on the lush green leaves and grass. Too early in the early evening for the mosquitoes to take over, the neighborhood kids were all in our backyard playing one of my favorite games, spud.

The ball was tossed high into the air, and after scattering in all directions, my next-door neighbor Bobby Goodlander caught it and yelled “spud,” freezing us all in mid-step. He took three giant steps in my direction and flung the ball, just missing my shoulder as I ducked out of the way.

The ball scooted across the yard and was stopped at the edge by Sam Glenn. Sam was older, in the fifth grade, and was kind of the neighborhood enigma. She usually kept to herself and rarely played in our games. She seemed to always speak in riddles and asked uncomfortable questions, usually about things left to adults.

Sam picked up the ball and walked over to us. Everyone came near since it was rare to hear from her.

She dropped the ball, paused dramatically, and said, “To speak to the dead we need a séance. Who will speak to the dead with me?”

No one said anything but we all stared at her. She had a small shoulder bag and pulled out a candle, three sticks of incense, and a box of stick matches.

Bobby’s father was the town Funeral Director and he felt compelled to say, “You can’t talk to dead people. My Dad has never heard a dead person say anything.”

Sam slowly blinked her eyes several times but didn’t say anything for what seemed like an eternity. She stooped her shoulders and looked deeply from one face to another in the circle we made around her. When she got to me, she abruptly straightened up and thrust a stick of incense into my hand, and passed out the rest of the incense and the candle.

Looking from face to face, she quickly blurted without stopping for a breath, “Who’ll light the matches? Who’ll hold the candle? Who’ll light the incense? A séance is fun. A dog will be easier than a person. We can try talking to Dash. He got run over last fall. Let’s go out to the field across the street. Come on!”

Without looking back she headed toward the field.

None of us were allowed to play with matches and Sam was older so everyone followed her out deep into the field across from my house. Nobody knew what a séance was, but she sure made it sound fun. Everyone sat on the ground in a circle. We each got to light a match and helped get the incense burning.

“If Dash is to hear us, we all have to hold hands and be perfectly quiet,” Sam exclaimed.

Too young to care about holding hands, we clasped each other, and no one said a word. It was a very calm still night without a breath of wind. Only the steady sing-song chirping of the crickets could be heard.

Sam pulled a tie-dyed purple colored bandana out of her bag and wrapped it around her head. In a husky voice, she then began to chant.

“Dash, grrr, Dash, bark, Dash grrr, Dash howl, Dash, Dash, Dash,” Sam wailed, alternating barking and howling sounds between each time she said the dog’s name.

She chanted in this way for a few minutes, then abruptly stopped. In the silence, she lit the candle. Once again, we heard the field of crickets singing away, even louder than before as it got closer to dusk.

Using a lower, softer voice, Sam began chanting Dash’s name again, and an eerie feeling began to set in. The hair on the back of my neck felt like it was standing on end. After a few minutes, she stopped chanting and raised her head to the sky with her eyes closed. The trilling sound of the crickets singing seemed to grow louder in the silence.

Without warning, Sam opened her eyes and whispered, “Oh great spirit, show us a sign that Dash is here.”

At that precise moment, all the loud cricket chirping suddenly stopped.  There was total silence as a deathly hush settled over the field. Not a peep or a sound could be heard.

For several seconds, we stared at each other with a look of terror in our eyes. Then out of nowhere, a strong gust of wind rustled the leaves on the nearby trees, and the moment was interrupted by a screen door slamming about a block away.

We all started screaming at once. I jumped to my feet and sprinted out of the field as fast as my feet would take me. I didn’t stop running until I got inside our house. I slammed and locked the door. Panting, I leaned my back against it as if I was trying to keep an intruder from entering.

My older sister Kathy was across the room with her nose in a Monkees magazine. She was in high school and barely tolerated me as her youngest brother.

“What’s got into you?” she asked, without looking up in her typical annoying teenage manner.

Panting heavily, I explained about the séance between gasps for air, sharing how the crickets stopped chirping and a gust of wind swept through the field when Sam asked for a sign from the dead.

“Sure squirt and a UFO landed in the field too,” she said with a sarcastic, mocking laugh.

Without looking up from her magazine, she walked over to the nearest open window and lowered her ear toward it.

“Are the crickets I hear chirping through the window different from your crickets? Maybe what I’m hearing is just a cricket recording or something, huh?” she smirked.

With a wave of her hand, she dismissed me and sat back down with her eyes still glued to Davy Jones’ picture in the magazine.

I found my Mom upstairs doing laundry and told her about the séance. Ignoring my agitation, she listened without comment to the whole story while she focused on folding clothes (a family of seven makes a ton of laundry).

When I finished telling her, she continued folding the clothes and said, “That’s fine son, now time to get ready for bed.”

As I brushed my teeth, I tried to tell my other brothers about Dash, the crickets, and the gust of wind, but no one seemed to care. I was convinced there was nothing that could have made that field go eerily quiet like that. I was so spooked I kept a flashlight on under the covers all night.

None of us kids in that circle ever mentioned what happened that night, and Sam moved away soon thereafter.

Of all the cloudy memories from my early years, I remember this one incident vividly.

It was the first of many reminders in my life that the world doesn’t always seem as it appears. There are things that happen that are hard to explain and even harder to sometimes believe. Even if you’re the one who experiences them.

No one in my family ever believed my story.

Open post

In a Death Class of its Own

With Led Zeppelin providing a baseline in the background, thirty some odd partyers, mostly in their late teens have gathered at a “rents-less house” outside of town on the Mohonk side of the mountain. The party has been going on for several hours and there’s a hum of chatter and a haze of pot smoke drifting through the house. In the garage, there’s a keg of beer surrounded by five guys.

The tallest, and least buzzed of the five calls out, “Whales Tales Prince of Whales calls on his court. Whales Tales -” He looks expectantly at the guy to his left who looks back with a blank look, then says, “Wha?” In unison, all of the others call out, “drink!”

The tall one again says, more insistently, “Whales Tales…” and points his elbow at the man to his left who after swallowing calls out, “ones,” and looks to his left, a shorter guy calls out, “twos.” The other two guys in the circle call out “threes” and then “fours” in quick succession.

The tall guy, McGlinchey, raises his red Solo cup and calls out, “Whales tails fives and social!” All five take a drink simultaneously. Then he calls out, “Whales tails twos,” and Inch, the short guy two men to his left calls back, “Nays!” McGlinchy says, “Who’s,” and Inch calls out, “Ones.” Dave the guy to Inch’s right quickly says, “Nays.” Inch replies, “Who’s,” and the reply is, “Threes.”

This all happens in a few seconds and all eyes move to the man in the circle, who made the last mistake one spot to McGlinchy’s left. He looks back with a “who me” expression. Inch calls out, “Drink Lenny!” Lenny drains his beer, laughs, and reaches for the tap for a refill.

The game has been going on for a while and all five are pretty toasted. Brian and Barry walk over to the keg and break up the action. Lenny jabs Barry in the ribs and says, “Call shotgun, Bar’s not leaving the mountain tonight.” Barry had been fondling a big chested junior named Marybeth all night and he grinned sheepishly at Lenny, his close friend that lived just up the road back in town.

Brian was by far the soberest of the gang and for good reason, Lenny, Dave, and Barry had come to the party in Brian’s VW bug and it was a good 10-mile drive off the Mountain back to New Paltz. About an hour later, Brian, Dave, and Lenny couldn’t find Barry anywhere, and figuring he was hiding out with Marybeth somewhere, they decided to leave without him.

Fate is a fickle thing.

Marybeth had actually already left, and Barry was out in the backyard taking a leak and they just didn’t see him. Brian did an amazing job navigating the backcountry roads making it within a quarter-mile of Lenny’s house when his little VW rang straight through a telephone pole. Lenny riding shotgun without a seat belt flew out through the small windshield. They found him later wrapped around a tree. At only 19, Lenny was killed instantly. Brian and Dave walked away from the crash unharmed, at least nothing was broken physically.

The next morning at 9 AM, Barry was sound asleep when the clock radio by his bed came on to wake him. He always set it to WPDH, the Hudson Valley’s popular rock station. Since it was on the hour, the news came on. Barry woke up to the announcer saying, “Tragedy in New Paltz last night as a 19 year old was killed when the car he was riding in crashed on Rt 32. The name hasn’t been released until next of kin is notified. Stay tuned for more details as they are released. In other news…” Barry knew instantly it was Lenny. Later he would only say he just knew.

I woke up a bit later, grabbed a glass of OJ, and walked out on the back deck. Barry was sitting down in the yard at our picnic table with his head in his hands. He was three years older than me and about twice my size, so to see this big man crying was surreal. I walked back into the kitchen and our Mom was washing dishes in the sink. Her eyes were all red and she told me what happened to Lenny. As a high school freshman, it was impossible to fathom. It was even more difficult to fully grasp the loss my big brother was experiencing, along with the sense of guilt he felt for not being in the car with them.

The next week was a blur. Hundreds came to Lenny’s funeral. The casket was closed due to the accident’s trauma. I knew Lenny’s sister, Janet, as she was a grade ahead of me, but wasn’t good friends with her. I don’t remember meeting Lenny’s parents, but I’m sure I did. Most of Barry’s friends were macho types who showed little emotion and quickly tried putting Lenny’s death in the rearview. I don’t think Barry ever did.

Eventually, the rest of the world moved on.

A few years later, needing to fill out my class schedule, my mother was trying to guide me.

“Mom, there’s no way I’m doing calculus. After a 72 on last year’s geometry Regents, cruel and unusual punishment is not a hobby.”

“Well, what would you take in its place. You can’t just play with cameras and kick soccer balls.”

“Mr. Campbell is teaching a new elective this year, I’ll take that instead, even though it doesn’t sound like much more fun than math.”

George Campbell was the kind of guy that craved an audience. As an extroverted nerd who was 140 pounds dripping wet, he found his audience as a ninth-grade earth science teacher. George had the energy of three teachers and had an unbridled enthusiasm for everything. He was able to make this work in high school, with a quick mind and an active dry wit, every class was an adventure. For most, he was a favorite teacher, but for those who wanted to melt into the background, he could be a bit too much. I had previously gone to middle school in a semi-private Campus School and was still trying to find my footing in the public High School in ninth grade. George Campbell’s class was a wake-up call that I wasn’t in Kansas anymore, and for the most part, I survived to wake up back in black and white by the end of the year.

Teaching earth science was not enough for George. He led an explorers troop, the scuba club, and in my sophomore year, got the school to let him teach a Death class. Having sat through a year of George’s exuberance in earth science, it seemed like an odd choice. It was offered as a half-year elective class, and skipping my love for math, I signed up for it during my junior year.

It was a very different George Campbell that taught about death. It was something most of us avoided, so he took a measured approach that slowly engaged the class and evolved into many deep discussions.

In the first month or so we learned all about the stages of death and dying. Pretty sober stuff. That section ended with a trip to the cemetery where we were encouraged to do gravestone rubbings. New Paltz was over 300 years old, so there were some very cool ancient tombstones, and I got rubbings from a guy who died in 1707.

Then things got weird. George invited guests to come and speak to the class. One woman came dressed as a 1960’s flower child who talked about mysticism and visions she had that were far-out! Another had a Russian accent and talked for an hour sharing how she was a “medium” able to commune with the dead and heard voices from people stuck in Purgatory. She handed out business cards to the class that gave 50% off for a 30-minute session. These were clearly cranks and fakes George wanted us to experience, but it got us all to begin questioning whether there was life after death. He had a revivalist preacher come to class who clearly wasn’t a crackpot and made a strong case for followers of Jesus and spoke at length about religion.

In the very next class, George asked each of us to describe any actual experiences we had with death or the afterlife. One of my friends Jessie lived in a former 19th century boarding house, and he told the class in a very “matter of fact” way how he sees ghosts all the time roaming the halls. He said that they were boarding house guests who died there. I had been to his house, and although I never saw a ghost, his place was pretty spooky.

Another friend of mine told a story about the old stone house that was on his family’s property. The house was originally built in the late 1600s and had been inhabited by French Huguenots who emigrated due to religious persecution. He told how he and his Dad camped out in the house and were woken in the middle of the night by loud voices coming from the chimney. The voices were speaking in French.

When it came to me, I didn’t have any ghost stories to share. Instead, I told a story about a sports camp I had attended back when I was 10 years old. My Dad was a pretty well-known college basketball coach and was always invited in the summer to coach at camps held by pro coaches and athletes. He usually took me along, and that summer between 5th and 6th grade we went to a camp hosted by Tom Landry and Roger Staubach of the Dallas Cowboys. They had evening entertainment throughout the week, and one night a “light artist” performed. He had a huge canvass the size of the entire stage where he would paint using colors and lights to tell a story while a musical soundtrack set the mood.

It was impossible to truly share what I experienced, and I told the class that they’d have a hard time believing what I was about to tell them. The artist started with a blank slate and the audience had no idea what the story was about. As it unfolded, we were all drawn in, and the artist painted the story of the life of Jesus. I was only 10 and not deeply religious at all, but when he was finished, there were tears in my eyes. I actually felt as if something had entered my body and an intense feeling of passion was inside me. I wasn’t the only one. When the artist was through, no one applauded, and you could hear a pin drop among the 1,000 or so young boys in the audience. The silence lasted for about 5 minutes. Then everyone just got up and quietly walked out of the auditorium. When I was through telling the story, the class ended, and no one kidded or laughed at me on the way out.

As the class wound down to the end of the semester, George had one last powerful session to spring on us. He had already taken us on a journey about life and death and we would never be the same. Then Lenny’s mom and dad walked through the doors of the Death Class.

It was only a few years since Lenny had died. To ensure his death wasn’t meaningless, both his parents had become strong advocates against drunk driving, and I figured that’s what we’d talk about when George introduced them.

Instead, Lenny’s dad started out by saying how he missed Lenny and how unfair it was for him to be taken so young. We could all see tears starting to fall out of his mom’s eyes. He told us how he always raised Lenny and his sister Janet by making sure they knew they trusted their judgment. There was no curfew; they never checked their breath for alcohol or pot. He wondered aloud if he had made the right choice in raising them this way. His mother spoke up…

“That night, the kids were out and we stayed home. We had a wonderful dinner, watched some TV, and went to bed early. At 1:13 AM, I was woken by Lenny standing over me and shaking me awake. I knew it was 1:13, because we have a digital alarm clock on my bedside table, and it was the first thing my eyes saw when they opened before I saw Lenny.”

It was established by the state police that Brian drove his VW off the road, hitting a telephone pole between 1:10 and 1:30 AM. The accident occurred about a quarter-mile from Lenny’s house.

“Lenny had a calm look on his face, but I sensed he was worried about me. I looked over to shake my husband awake, and when I looked back, Lenny was gone. I knew that something was wrong; a dread came over me that I live with every day since the accident.”

Lenny’s parents then got up out of bed, got dressed, and walked out to the end of their small street where it met the state highway. They saw the flashing lights down the road at the accident scene.

“Tears were streaming down my cheeks and I knew Lenny was gone,” his mom gushed as she closed her eyes reliving the scene in her mind.

Lenny’s family didn’t blame Brian, as they felt the pain and anguish he suffered would be enough of a burden.

“There is no question in my mind that there is an afterlife. Lenny woke me up to say goodbye. He wasn’t transparent or ghost-like, he was as real as you’re sitting there at your desks. I wish I had given him a long hug, but the look in his eye that night was his concern for me. I truly believe he appeared to me on his journey to his next life to let me know he would be all right.”

George thanked them for sharing their story, and when they left, he let out a huge sigh and wiped his eyes. He looked at the class and told us there was nothing more he could teach us.

 

Open post

The Under Belly of the Evil Empire

(…slightly  fictionalized with a firm nod to staying very close to the actual events)

Just by scanning their faces, Steve could tell the tension was at the highest level any of them had faced in their lives. They had been in tough spots over the course of the last six or seven years, and mostly came out on top, but this was different.  Only a handful of times in history has the chase for the Pennant gone down to the seventh game of the League Championship Series, and even fewer times has it gone to extra innings for that seventh game.  Yet that is exactly where Steve and his teammates stood, the bottom of the eleventh inning of the seventh and final game of the series to determine who would win the Pennant and move on to the World Series. The men in the other dugout weren’t just competitors, they were the Red Sox, enough said.

For the most part, the men Steve patched up weren’t usually concerned with the guys from Boston. There really wasn’t much of a rivalry as far as they were concerned, but George Steinbrenner, the  Yankee “Boss,” thought differently and he ratcheted up the pressure every time they played.  Not that it was needed. When Babe Ruth was traded from the Sox to the Yanks in the early 1920s, the Yankees had clobbered them every year since. It was called the “Curse of the Bambino,” and the Boss wasn’t about to allow that to change on his watch. He made sure that everyone from the locker room attendant to the General Manager knew that the Yankees belonged in the World Series, and the Red Sox belonged at home watching them on T.V.   In George Steinbrenner’s world, there was no taking of prisoners, and with the Red Sox you were supposed to torture them before you stretched the rope.

This corporate pressure definitely made it into Steve’s world, and he was held accountable for making sure there were as few guys on the injured list as possible. Steve was constantly reminded this meant his ass was on the line if anyone stayed injured more than a game or two. When it came to the second season, the playoffs, that timeframe shrank to an inning or two.  Built like most trainers, Steve has a pretty big ass, so he did his best to tape up any problem and keep his teammates confident that they could still perform injured or not. During the playoffs, it wasn’t as big a deal.  Sure there were prima donnas on the team, but once a World Series Ring was on the line, Steve’s job became a little easier, at least for the basic aches and pains.

Still, this year had been incredible, with Karsay blowing out his elbow in spring training, Jeter dislocating his shoulder in the first game of the year, Mo aggravating his groin pull from the year before, Giambi nursing a bum knee that would have sidelined even the toughest guy, Bernie out with a shoulder and a blown ACL, Boomer getting his teeth knocked out in a street fight, and just a few days ago, Zimmer straining his neck from getting thrown to the ground by an egomaniac Red Sox player half his age – it had been one hell of a year. Steve’s direct boss Gene Monaghan, the Head Trainer for the team, spent most of the year handling all the different doctors. The surgeries and major problems were beyond what Steve and his ace bandages, whirlpools and ice packs handled without the consent of a medical specialist.  There were millions of dollars invested in each one of these guys, and even though Steve was as skilled as the best orthopedist and physical therapist rolled into one, the liability and potential insurance claims needed Gene’s full attention.  Normally, Gene would be there by Steve’s side, but now he was perpetually upstairs dealing with the team executives and the different player’s doctors.  This meant Steve, the Assistant Head Trainer, had little support most of the time in the day-in-day-out job of getting forty guys ready for work.  Something like this rarely got to Steve, he was from a tough neighborhood, and he earned his way into the job through the school of hard knocks, but from February through November Steve worked just about every day.  In his line of work, weekdays and weekends are meaningless, and every day means just that – but at this moment with Yankee Stadium buzzing, it was the last thing on his mind.

Amazingly in the 100-year history of these two teams, this was the first time they had faced each other in the postseason. From where Steve sat in the dugout, it was also amazing that they were still in the game. The Yanks were down by three runs, and except for a few Jason Giambi solo home runs, Pedro was throwing darts and shutting down any chance for a comeback.  During the Yankee at-bat in the sixth inning, Aaron Boone ended up on the bench sitting next to Steve.  Aaron had experienced a dreadful second half of the season at the plate and was mired in a 3 for 24 slump thus far in the playoffs. Uncharacteristically, he even had a poor October in the field. Playing third base, he had committed an error in just about every other game. Not surprisingly, Yankee manager Joe Torre had him riding the bench in the most important game of the season.

In the sixth, Aaron noticed Steve was bewildered and came over and put his arm around his neck and pointed towards Pedro out on the mound.  He spoke softly into Steve’s ear telling him to relax and take a hard look at the Boston pitcher.

Pedro was a gifted athlete from the Dominican Republic, who for the previous 5-6 years had dominated the Major Leagues.  He had won a couple of Cy Young Awards (given to the year’s best pitcher) and had won more games than just about anyone.  In short, he was a winner with a huge ego and a short fuse. He backed this up with a confident style and a command of the art of pitching that comes around only once in a lifetime.  Pedro, unusual for a guy his size, was a power pitcher who for the most part blew his pitches by opposing batters.  Yet being only 170 pounds, and after years of pitching this way, time was beginning to catch up to the abuse this was doing to his body.  Pedro was too proud to allow this to affect him, so for the last few years, he had begun to transform himself into more of a finesse pitcher. This was a guy who threw his pitches at varying speeds and curved the ball in different directions as it approached the batter.  Many a pitcher had worked an entire career in such a way.  The great Sandy Koufax was in Cooperstown on the basis of the best curveball ever thrown, yet at times Pedro’s ego got the better of him and in pressure situations, he reverted to his roots.

From the second inning through the sixth, in the most pressure-filled game of his career, Pedro had thrown more fastballs than in any game all year. Aaron calmly pointed out to Steve that Pedro was taking a bigger stride on each pitch to the plate, and he was also slowing down the pace between each pitch thrown.  They watched him pitch the entire at-bat to Bernie Williams with Aaron making various points about the subtle changes Pedro had made since the game began.  Steve began to recognize what only a handful of people could notice, Pedro was wearing himself out. Steve started to relax and was sure that the great  Joe Torre had noticed it too.  As the sixth inning ended with no runs and the score 4-1 Red Sox, Aaron looked Steve in the eyes and said “Have no fear Stevo, next inning we’ll kill him. I hope I get a shot at him, but either way, Pedro is toast, ”

Between innings, Steve went into the clubhouse to get Jason Giambi off the stationary bike. Jason usually plays the field at first base, but this year he partially tore the ACL in his knee.  He’ll have arthroscopic surgery after the season to repair it, but he’s been playing with excruciating pain for most of the year.  When he’s not waiting to bat, he jumps on a stationary bike to keep his knee loose, but he usually overdoes it, and if Steve doesn’t remind him, he can ride himself to an 0-4 night pretty easily. Luckily, Steve got him off the bike in time. and in the bottom of the seventh inning, Giambi hit his second solo home run of the game to close the Sox lead to two runs. It’s the little things on a team that goes unnoticed that can mean so much to its success. Without a guy like Steve, you’d have to ponder how many hitless nights Jason would have, how many Clemon’s curveballs would be hit for home runs, or how many fly balls would be out of Bernie’s reach in center field.

Like most future athletic trainers, Steve Donahue had dreams of being a great athlete.  Also like most future trainers, he was born with the physical gifts that ensured he never would.  After competing with average guys in sports all the way through high school with a bowling ball-shaped body and a stature too short for just about anything, Steve promised himself just one thing, he would do whatever he could to somehow remain around the competition. He was continually made fun of, always picked last for games, and tortured by prima donnas that had less character than Steve carried under a fingernail, but he still loved the games.

When he graduated from high school, Steve had pretty lousy grades. He never really cared about science or math and knew that you didn’t need great English skills to make it in the gym.  It wasn’t that he had a low IQ, quite the opposite, but he only had motivation for sports. Steve came from a pretty typical Irish Catholic family that was less than flush in the financial area, so a fancy college was out of the question. Unfortunately, he realized too late that the best place for him to go was to a school that had a decent sports program. His grades sunk that option before his family’s bank account even came into play. Living 40 miles north of New York City, in a blue-collar area, Steve pretty much was surrounded by mediocrity.  He knew one thing, if he found a way out, he wouldn’t let hard work get in his way. Coming up on graduation, his high school guidance counselor gave him a brochure for SUNY New Paltz. It was only an hour or so up the Hudson River and, being a small state school, it was cheap. Also with pretty low academic standards, Steve would be able to get in, and they did have several sports teams.

Some people feel we each have a guardian angel looking over us. Others feel that fate can shine positive rays on those who inwardly scream for redemption, but outwardly seem incapable of amounting too much. It’s the timing or sixth sense used in noticing these moments in life that can determine which direction our lives will take. Whether an angel nudged him or fate intervened, that moment presented itself to little Stevie Donahue, and he chose to go to the only place that would take him.

New Paltz State was mostly known for being the closest college to Woodstock and, during that three-day festival of love, naked hippies, and psychedelic drugs, this little teachers’ college would transform itself into one of the most notorious drug schools in the country. As Jimi Hendrix was packing up and the festival ended, thousands of hipsters walked the fifteen miles to New Paltz to continue the party. Several years later when Steve arrived on campus, they were still there. You’d have to think he had the deck pretty well stacked against him and that he couldn’t have picked a worse place to go. Not only had he chosen a drug school where the rock concert budget was ten times larger than the athletic budget, but also the New Paltz Hawks sports teams had not had a winning season in any sport for almost 25 years. Even with all this, fate was in the gym rat’s favor, even in this wasteland of college athletics, because Steve’s deck of cards was about to be dealt by Joe Donovan.

Joe Donovan, Coach D by everyone that knew him, was in his early fifties and he was known as a coaching fixer. He would move every three to four years from one college or high school to the next and each place had as woeful a winning record as the one before.  Coach D was a turnaround specialist, who was able to quickly make the changes needed to turn losing into winning. Along the way, he won a lot.  He won the NY State High School Basketball Championship, held the longest winning streak in high school baseball for 40 years, coached Niagara University to an NIT Basketball Championship, and coached the world record holder for the high jump in track and field. What made him unique was that he shared everything he knew with everyone he knew. Anyone who worked with him benefited, and he was particularly keen on mentoring his assistants, eventually urging them to take on their own challenges.  Men such as Larry Costello, coach of the 1971 NBA championship Milwaukee Bucks, Frank Layden the NBA’s Utah Jazz coach for 15 years, Jimmy Valvano coach of the 1983 NCAA basketball champions NC State, and Hubie Brown, former New York Knicks head coach and current TV NBA commentator, all at one time mentored at the foot of Joe Donovan.

Coach D also had another lifelong pursuit besides winning games – Athletic Training.

After serving in World War II, Joe took advantage of the GI Bill and after getting his BS from Ithaca College, he earned his Master’s in Athletic Conditioning from Cornell. In the early 1950s, he became a founding member of the National Trainers Association (now the industry’s largest with 25,000 members). Thereafter, at every stop in his career in addition to coaching, he was also made Head Trainer.  Joe loved training, although you couldn’t tell by looking at him, since Joe also exhibited the favorite trainer’s physique – big and round.  Needless to say, Joe knew most of the trainers at the largest college sports factories and many of the guys in the pros.

When Coach Donovan met Steve, he didn’t think much of him, but Steve quickly knew he found someone who could have a profound effect on his life.  Steve knew nothing of coaching or training, but after taking a few body mechanics classes with Coach D he dedicated his every waking moment trying to learn as much as he could from him.  Eventually, Coach D began to take notice of this young kid that hung around practice, shagging balls, or sweeping the floors.  He saw that Steve had a completely unselfish way about him.  He was the type of kid that would do just about anything you asked of him, and yes, he would even give you his last dollar if he thought you really needed it.  Most importantly, it was real. There was nothing contrived or phony about him. It wasn’t long before he was helping out in the training room, picking up tidbits from Coach D that was akin to what students were learning in the best physical therapy schools.

Over the course of the next four years, Steve slowly became part of Coach D’s family.  It seemed he spent as much time at their dinner table as any of the coach’s five kids, and the younger ones hung out with Steve in the college training room every day after school.  Most importantly, Steve had latched on to an idea for a profession that had never occurred to him.  If it hadn’t been for Joe Donovan, Steve probably would have ended up like most guys from his hometown, a bus driver, a janitor, or some similar type of work.  He found nothing wrong with that type of work, but Steve wanted to make it in sports.

He began to grow and expand his knowledge and confidence, and as the years flew by, he eventually found himself running the school’s Training Room and mentoring the underclass student trainers. By the time he was ready to graduate, Coach D’s hard work as a coach had finally begun to pay off on the court too. The basketball team won 20 games and went to the playoffs for the first time in almost 30 years and Steve was able to be an integral part of the success as the Head Trainer for the team.  Steve graduated with honors and Coach D helped him land a trainer’s spot on Denny Crum’s basketball team at the University of Louisville.  Steve took it from there and began carving out a career that still makes Steve want to pinch himself to be certain it’s real.   After Louisville, he worked for other major college programs and moved to the pros as a trainer for the NFL’s New York Jets before landing his position with the Yankees.

Over the years, Steve kept in touch with Coach D and never forgot him.  Even on the morning of a Yankee World Series game, Steve found the time to drive up to New Paltz for Coach D’s induction into the school’s Sports Hall of Fame.  He only was able to stay for a short time, but gave a meaningful introduction of the Coach that brought tears to his eyes, and then drove straight back to the city to get back to work.  Coach D had long retired by this time and people say that he was never more touched by anyone’s actions than by Steve’s.  Joe Donovan died shortly thereafter, and Steve of course was at the funeral and gave a heartfelt eulogy. The old coach of course would have been flattered at the nice things that Steve had to say, but he would say what a bunch of hogwash it all was. He would tell anyone who was listening that he only pointed Steve down a path – he did all the rest.

One of the career-defining moments for Steve came earlier during the first round of the playoffs against the Minnesota Twins. The Boss stopped by the training room and in front of Joe Torre and most of the team he made a point of loudly telling Steve that he was as much responsible for the team being in the playoffs as any of Giambi’s home runs or the Rocket’s fastballs.  It was one of Steve’s proudest moments. In his sixteen years with the Yankees, he could count the number of times on one hand that Mr. Steinbrenner had spoken to him.  He has never taken for granted that he works where he does, and if the guys can pull out this one last game, they will move on to the biggest stage of all. If Clemons, Pettitte, or Mussina need a file to rough up their curveball calluses, Steve will trot out to the mound with close to fifty million people watching him.  Already after five previous trips to the World Series where they won four times, he still regularly shakes his head in disbelief that he’s part of it all.

By 2003, many of the Yankee players from the amazing late 1990s Yankee “dynasty” were aging and on their last legs. The king of the Yankee pitchers, Roger Clemons, needed incredible attention just to get up on the mound. On his pitching days, he would have Steve cover his entire naked body in “hot stuff,” an incredibly potent cream that felt like coating your body with Carolina Reaper Ghost Pepper sauce to get himself ready to pitch. He would literally snort like a bull from the heat before pulling on his number 22 Yankee jersey and heading to the bullpen to warm up. Like Clemons, many of the guys were approaching their mid-30s, a time for ballplayers to start thinking about retirement. They had only known how to win, but it was becoming tighter to achieve the same level of success.

The pressure of the last game of a seven-game series where, if you lose, you go home after 174 games played, was enormous.  Different people handle pressure differently.  Where Aaron Boone can gleefully yell encouragement while losing by three runs, guys like Alphonso Soriano, the youngest Yankee, are so tight they can barely speak. Those who have been there before tend to perform the best under immense pressure. Over the course of the next few innings, Steve would witness this phenomenon up close and personal.

Although the Yankees had closed the gap to 4-2 with Giambi’s second solo shot, the Sox quickly added another run in the top of the eighth with a homer by Sox great David Ortiz to increase their lead back to three runs at 5-2. In the bottom half of the eighth, the Yankee bench was quietly excited as Pedro confidently strolled out to the mound to pitch to the heart of the Yankee batting order. Just as Aaron had predicted, the Yankee bats came to life against a tiring Pedro who immediately began to struggle. Derek Jeter hit a double and Bernie Williams slapped a single. With runners on first and third and no outs, few in the Yankee dugout was surprised to see the Sox manager Grady Little stride out to the mound.  They were all psyched to have finally knocked the great Pedro out of the game.  Steve could hear Mike Timlin’s name murmured with trepidation up and down the bench as the next likely Sox pitcher. Timlin had controlled the powerful Yankee lineup every time he came out to face them in this series, not allowing a single hit.

After a brief meeting on the mound, shockingly, the entire bench became completely quiet as Grady strolled back to his dugout.  For a full 30 seconds or so, everyone just sat there and watched him walk slowly to his bench.  Everyone on the Yankee’s bench was so ingrained to have the starting pitcher yanked at the first sign of trouble, that when Grady left his guy in there, they were amazed. It now became clear to everyone what had occurred to Aaron an inning earlier, that Pedro was primed to be tattooed.  The next two batters, Matsui and Posada, both hit doubles to tie the game at 5 runs each.

Sure Grady blinked as the heat of the most pressure-packed game in decades bared down on him. He wasn’t the only one that felt it, Pedro’s arrogance wouldn’t allow him to tell Grady that he was through. It’s not as if Grady was going out to get the ball from an average pitcher that had met his match. This was the legendary Pedro Martinez who had pulled out more games like this in his career than any other pitcher in baseball. Still, if Grady could read the minds of Steve’s teammates, he would have made a different choice, as they all couldn’t wait to get a bat in their hands and take a swing against him.  Pedro had completely lost his mental edge of invincibility and the Yankee players made him pay.

In Steve’s mind, it was only a matter of time before the Yankees would win the game and head to World Series. It took three innings of incredible relief pitching by closer Mariano Rivera, who hadn’t been asked to pitch three innings in years. to hold off the Red Sox (he was series MVP). In the end, of all people, it was Aaron Boone with his miserable hitting slump who would end it.

He had entered the game as a base runner in the eighth inning, and his spot in the batting order finally came up as a lead-off hitter in the top of the eleventh inning. He told Steve he hoped he’d get a chance, and when it came, he didn’t waste it as he hit a home run on the first pitch of the inning in the bottom of the eleventh for the win.  As he crossed home plate the bench erupted around him in celebration, Steve smiled knowing that he had just witnessed one of the greatest games in baseball history from the catbird seat. He took a moment to watch the guys piling on each other around home plate, and headed back to the training room to get ready for the post-game aches and pains that he was sure would need his attention – at least once the celebrating ended.

Although he would certainly have many glasses, his champagne would have to wait; there was still a lot of work yet to be done.

 

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One of the Greatest, My Dad

If you ever ask a veteran to describe their wartime experiences, usually there is not much shared. The scars may be too harsh to reopen, and the memories need to stay locked deep inside. It was the same with my father. A member of the “greatest generation” who lived through World War II, my Dad was 17 when Pearl Harbor was attacked. He lived in far upstate NY, just south of the Adirondack Mountains in South Glens Falls. It was a small town with lumber and paper mills the main business of the town. It was a small city much like the fictional Bedford Falls of “It’s a Wonderful Life” fame. Not much happened there, and as a young guy in such a place, their imagination could run wild. Thinking about being shipped out to London, or Hawaii, or some other exotic place was breathtaking. In addition, with the Japanese surprise attack, patriotic fervor was rampant.

My Dad couldn’t wait to join, but as a 17 year old, he had to wait until he turned 18 and it drove him crazy. He told me once that he found out that the Navy sometimes looked the other way when it came to age limits. This turned out to be untrue, but while exploring this Navy option, he discovered that there was a big need for men to join the Seabees and that he would be shipped out quickest if he joined them after turning 18. There was a reason for this as the Seabees were a Naval Construction Battalion. These were the guys who went in first on the beachheads to build barriers for the troops before the main attack. They were sent into jungles to carve out airstrips for planes to land. The logo for this group of warriors is men carrying a shovel in one hand and a gun in the other. It was possibly one of the most dangerous parts of the armed services to join, but it was exactly what my Dad was looking for, and he decided to join the Navy Seabees. In early 1942, he found himself in the South Pacific in Pearl Harbor as the U.S. began their island hopping campaign on their way toward Japan.

As a young boy in the 1960s, I asked my Dad what WWII was like, but he never told me much. Later in life, as I grew older, he did share a few tidbits. One of the memories he shared was later in his Navy journey. After being part of the island hopping campaign, he was a SeaBee trying to complete a landing strip on a nameless South Pacific island.  Japanese bullets were strafing the bulldozers and men building it. Three Corsair fighter planes running out of fuel appeared in the sky and had to land or fall into the sea. He told me how they landed on the half-finished runway, and as the pilots jumped out of their planes they yelled to my Dad to be careful not to touch their scorching hot machine guns, as they had just come out of a dogfight with Japanese Zeros and had shot down the plane carrying Admiral Yamamoto who was the architect of the attack on Pearl Harbor.  These were the type of stories he would share.

Without a doubt, he was in a number of blazing “hot zones” and he was less open about these stories. One of the most critical WWII battles in the South Pacific was on Guadalcanal. It was a lengthy battle lasting five months from late 1942 into February of 1943. Incredibly, only 1,600 U.S servicemen lost their lives, but over 20,000 Japanese were killed.  My father was there and it was one of the few direct actions he shared with me where he participated...it’s a bit chilling.

It was a Sunday, and in Navy parlance, it was a "make and mend" day for the sailors. By Navy tradition, a day to clean up your uniform, polish your shoes, and make yourself shipshape. At Guadalcanal, after weeks of hard combat, it was basically a day to chill out, have a beer, and relax.

That afternoon everyone was out in a clearing playing baseball, drinking beer, and horsing around. Spread out on the field, there were about 300 Sailors, Marines, and SeaBees. It was a beautiful South Pacific day with a light warm breeze, brilliant sun, and not a cloud in a picture perfect blue sky. My father was one of these guys, and although he usually would have been playing ball, he had been bitten by so many mosquitos that he was lounging in the grass trying to ignore the itching.

Suddenly out of nowhere, flying extremely low, a lone Japanese dive bomber appeared just above the palm trees. My Dad told me it seemed so unexpected on what was a casual day that it took everyone by surprise. The Jap bomber dove toward the center of the clearing.  The Japanese loaded their bombs with anything they could find to increase the lethality (shrapnel, rusty nails, etc.).  The pilot released the bomb so low that by the time the Marines and Seabees heard the bomb screaming toward them, they didn't even have a chance to hit the dirt.

The bomb exploded.

My Dad told me that by the time he got up on his knees after the blast and looked around him, it seemed that everyone was untouched as if nothing had happened. Then he started hearing groans and cries for help. The bomb had drawn a straight line down the center of the field, cutting it half. The angle of the way the bomb landed caused the shrapnel to spread 180 degrees - and luckily my Dad was on the right side of the explosion. All the sailors on my Dad's side were fine, but the other half of the field was completely wiped out as if the ordnance knew which side of the field to obliterate. He said it was like a knife cutting everyone on the other side of the field in half.  Dozens were killed, blood, arms, and legs were strewn everywhere with scores wounded, but in a world war and especially at Guadalcanal, scenes like this played out somewhere every day.

The way Dad told me this story you could tell it contained a memory of incredible sadness, a memory he didn't want, but he also worded it in a matter of fact sort of way as something that wasn't totally an unusual occurrence. Dad only told me that story once and never mentioned it again. I always wondered what other memories he had that he didn't share...

When I fall asleep at night, my thoughts and dreams are about my family, reliving past exploits, or future vacations, and the like. Yet someone with memories of action from WWII (or any war) fall asleep with something far different.  After hearing this story, it was hard to think about what my Dad must have dreamed about before falling asleep...or how often these memories and experiences seeped in. I never found out, but have never wavered in appreciating the sacrifices guys like my Dad made to ensure our world is better because of what they did.

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Party On Comrade!

Heading into the office on a grey and overcast December day, I felt groggy and out of focus. The company holiday party the night before had left me with almost a vacant or numb feeling, and as I drove into the parking lot, I knew last night’s final snifter of cognac was going to make the day a challenge.

I worked at Beitzell, a 100 year old wine and spirits company that marketed and sold an exclusive list of brands to Washington, D.C.’s hotels, restaurants, bars, and liquor stores. It was my first real “corporate” job after many years of working in the hospitality industry. Being that I was a former restaurant owner, Beitzell hired me on as a Marketing Manager to create promotions and programs that would help our hotel and restaurant customers sell more of the products they bought from us. It was a perfect job for me, and I loved it.

I had been in the job for about a year, and the night before at the end of year party, the president had called me up to the front of the room. He told everyone that he was very pleased with my efforts and that he was promoting me to take over the restaurant sales team. Everyone congratulated me and we celebrated late into the night.

The next morning after pulling into a parking space in the company lot, I sat for a few minutes thinking about what was about to change. I loved marketing and had always viewed sales as something less exciting. In one of my attempts to move on from the late nights of hospitality, I had taken a job with Pennsylvania Life Insurance, selling policy’s door to door.

It was a crazy difficult job that entailed talking your way into a complete stranger’s home, sitting at the kitchen table to convince them they had to buy it, and hopefully walking out the door with a check for $200 (money they usually needed to live on). We trained every day learning all the tricks to coax and cajole and make a sale, and I was pretty good at, selling 4-5 policies every week. It was terrible making a living off of low-income folks who had no other insurance options, and after several months my heart couldn't take it anymore and I quit, but I learned a ton. It also left me with a really bad idea of sales, and now at Beitzell, I was going to be managing a team of salespeople.

The promotion was a total surprise, and it came with an office, daily lunch in the executive dining room, a company car, and a significant raise in salary. As I walked into the building, I thought it wasn’t what I would have asked for, but I could do it. I knew the salespeople and we had worked great together. This could work, and I had better not screw it up.

When I got to my new desk there was a note to see the VP of Sales when I arrived. After grabbing a tall glass of water, I went to see Sal. He was an old liquor guy that had worked for the company for 40 years. Sal was also a character. Even though it was the mid-1980’s, he wore polaroid sunglasses all the time, leisure suits with several neck chains that hung down to an open collar shirt with too much salt and pepper chest hair sticking out. His head was half bald and what was left he combed straight back in long strands that reached shoulder length. A mustache and goatee finished off his look. I wasn’t sure, but I guessed he was the guy that drove the Trans-Am out in the parking lot.

I had not interacted with Sal at all except saying hello as we passed in the hall. When I poked my head in his office, he was on the phone and he pointed to a chair directing me to sit down. After hanging up, Sal spent the next hour or so telling me how horrible the restaurant team salespeople were and what I needed to do to whip them into shape. It was a very one-sided meeting and after he talked himself out, he handed me a slip of paper. He told me a call had been routed to him from the Commissary Manager at Bolling Airforce Base who gave him an order for a case of cheap house wine for the officers Holiday Party. Sal asked when he had last seen a salesperson and the manager had told him he had never seen one, but it was hard to get on the base and he rarely needed anything. Sal demanded that I do something to fix this and do it today. I hadn't even thought we sold to military bases, but either way, it was a nice start to my first day as Sales Manager.

As I headed back to my office, it seemed pretty obvious that Sal was "marking his territory with some yellow snow," and he was using the Bolling example as a way to break in a new sales manager. When I got back to my desk, I looked up what kind of account Bolling was and found that they bought just a few cases of $40 wine a year. Nevertheless, it was my first day and I wanted to make a good impression, so I paged our salesperson who worked in Southeast DC to see if she could squeeze in a visit to the base.

After a few minutes, she called. After a few pleasantries and jokes about who drank too much at the Holiday Party, I explained what I needed. She laughed her head off and told me to go back into Sal’s office and tell him to go “F” himself. There was no way that she was going to drive all the way out there while she needed to be selling the key restaurants in her territory in the city that had tons of business. She sweetly wished me luck and quickly hung up.

Obviously, I wasn’t going to do what she suggested, but she wasn’t wrong. It was December, by far our biggest month of the year and it was ridiculous to pull her out of her territory to appease a request from Sal. I didn’t report to him, but he approved all the special deals we would need to beat our competitors, so I needed to do something. If I had been in the job even 3-4 months, I may have given lip service to his request and gone about the day as planned, but being new I hadn’t built up any credibility in the job.

As I sat there, it occurred to me that I could probably get one of the salespeople to run out there, but it would certainly hurt their sales for that day. The only solution was for me to go myself. I doubt that Sal was looking for me to do this, but it was the only way to make it happen.

I spent the rest of the morning reviewing past sales, division revenue, our largest accounts, and the sales territories. I skipped lunch in the Exec Dining Room so I wouldn’t have to answer to Sal, and took out my surface map of D.C. to actually see how to get to  Bolling Air Force base. It was located on the border of Virginia on the south side of the Potomac River. The U.S. government had a sliver of land over there and had built Bolling right after World War I where mostly test pilots used it on new aircraft. It was a small base by the 1980s and had been usurped in importance by the much larger Andrews Air Force base where President Reagan’s Airforce One was stationed.

Having somewhat mapped the route, I took a few calls from some of the hotels I had marketing programs with and by mid-afternoon headed out to Bolling. The route took me from our offices in Northeast DC to Southeast DC, and the traffic getting around the Mall and Capital was horrendous. By the time I got to the I-295 interchange to head out of downtown, it was almost 3 PM and I was crawling in stop and go traffic with little headway being made.  I opened my D.C. map on the passenger seat and realized that if I could get over to the Suitland Parkway, I could get off at MLK Blvd and take surface streets over to Bolling. I had to cross five lanes of barely moving cars, but after a while, I made it to the Suitland exit ramp. Then things got pretty weird.

After driving about a half-mile on the Suitland Parkway, I noticed that there was no traffic behind me. I don’t mean there was no traffic jam, there was no traffic or cars at all. Looking ahead there were no cars ahead of me either and after two delivery trucks passed me heading into the city, there were no cars or trucks in the oncoming lane either. Just when it started to seem apocalyptic, I noticed flashing lights in my rearview mirror coming on fast. There were two unmarked cars, and they blew by me going 100 miles an hour or more and were soon out of view.

I kept going but slowed down a bit wondering what was happening. The Suitland Parkway at what was just after 4 PM should be a parking lot. It was as if I was driving at 4 AM instead. A minute or so later, another flashing light lit up my rearview. This one was going fast also, but as the unmarked car approached it slowed down and cut in front of me. I heard a loudspeaker say, “Pull over to the side of the road now,” with emphasis on the word now. I immediately pulled over.

I huge man, maybe six foot five and 250 pounds got out of the driver’s side of the car and started walking toward me. Another smaller guy got out of the passenger side, and he had what looked like a gym bag with his right hand stuffed into the top like he was holding something he didn’t want others to see.

The huge guy walked over and motioned for me to roll down my window, and as he approached he asked what I was doing on this road. I told him I was heading out to Bolling Air Force Base and said I was going to meet with the Commissary Manager about a wine order. I reached into my suit pocket and gave him a business card.

He wasn’t friendly at all and gruffly asked me if I had a camera which I told him I didn’t. He looked at me for a full 20 seconds or so staring into my eyes. I didn’t look away, but it was pretty intense. I could tell this guy was Secret Service or some special ops type. I had worked briefly on Capitol Hill and when any of the cabinet officers came for a visit, guys like this with wires coming out of their ears were always nearby. After our staring session, he ordered me to stay inside my car and not move my car until I was told to. I said O.K.

He and his buddy got back in their car and motored off. While I waited, I turned on the car radio to listen to some tunes. I realized that with everything that happened in the last day that I hadn’t listened to the news at all. The classic rock station I tuned in began playing the Beatles, “Back in the USSR.” As the song started out, I could see a half-mile ahead on the inbound lane some activity. As the traffic approached, from a distance I noticed that all the cars were black, and I began wondering who had died.

As the Beatles sang their Russian anthem, the cars approached, and they were nothing like I had ever seen before. With my window rolled down it was incredibly spooky as there was no sound but tires on the pavement and the whooshing sound as each passed in procession. There were a lot of them. They were clearly limousines from what was possibly an Eastern European or even Soviet Block country. There were dozens of them passing one after another, about 100 feet apart and going slowly at what seemed like 30 miles per hour or so.

These limos were exactly the same all black, with black tinted windows, and were angry looking. They gave off an aura that said, "don't mess with me." The moment was surreal, as I sat by the side of the road with no one else in view besides these foreign beasts on parade. The slate gray December sky made the sight even more chilling and ominous.  It finally dawned on me that I was witnessing the USSR leader, Gorbachev, heading into D.C. for his first-ever Summit with Reagan. It had been all over the news for the last week and I had forgotten all about it.

The procession went on for several minutes and I stopped counting at 25 cars, so there may have been over 60 or more. Except for the driver, there was no way someone was in each limo and I figured it was a security thing to keep anyone looking to harm Gorbachev from guessing which car he was riding in. After the last car went by, I sat there for like 20 minutes. I switched around the dial to see if there was any Gorby news and I heard this:

“For security reasons, Gorbachev's route into D.C. for the upcoming summit with President Reagan had been kept secret. Once his plane landed late Monday afternoon at Andrews Air Force base, his motorcade had been expected to depart through the base's main gate through Morningside, VA. However, by going out the north gate, the Soviet leader and his traveling party took a straight shot down the Suitland Parkway and into the city.”

Hearing this, I figured that I must have slipped past the Secret Service and onto the Parkway just after they were closing the road for Gorbachev’s parade of thug vehicles and I got stuck in the middle of it. The radio station continued to play songs in honor of the occasion and after a while, it was obvious that with the parade over, no one was coming back for me.

I pulled out onto the road, drove to the next exit, and turned around heading back to the city. Bolling was going to have to wait, I needed a drink.

 

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Olivia and Her Brother

Olivia lay on her bed with her chin resting on a pillow.  From where she lay she could see out the double slider window overlooking the entire back yard and the pond in the distance beyond.  Being left behind with only her small very aloof brother for company always seemed to unnerve her.  As she watched out the back windows, every little creaking noise the house made seemed like cymbals crashing together.  While keeping her chin glued to the pillow, she jerked her head from side to side every time she noticed a squirrel or chipmunk jump out from behind the stone wall that bordered the property.  When a duck landed in the pond below, her eyes darted in that direction.  She was very jittery and nervous.  Occasionally, she would raise her head and cock it in the direction of a sound – real or imagined – to try to hear it better.  She was always searching for a sign that they were coming home. Any movement or noise could be them returning – and she didn’t want to miss any possible signals.  In the back of her mind, she wasn’t always sure that they would return at all.  It had happened before – even though this was a different home and a different family – she just never knew for certain that they would come back.

She often wondered why they usually left her behind.  She sensed that it was something that she was being punished for – but never really understood what it was.  She couldn’t tell if it was worse being left home alone or being left home alone with her brother.  As she pondered this as if on cue, her brother came slinking around the corner.  She could never figure out the hostility he constantly exhibited toward her.  From the very first time they met, he had always made nasty hissing noises in her direction and frequently tried to whack her anytime she came within reach.  She couldn’t completely blame him.  Being adopted, Olivia had been brought home well after her brother had gotten used to getting all of the attention.  After all these years she thought that he might at least be civil, but he only acted that way when he thought that it would be noticed, earning him a little extra attention or some kind of treat – otherwise he was always a little pest to her.

He came over to where she was laying and stopped to glare at her.  He made an offensive sarcastic scowl and without making a sound turned his back on her in a very condescending manner, disappearing into the kitchen.  She could hear him munching away on a bowl of something that had been left for him.  She knew that he was crunching extra loud to distract her from hearing any signs of them approaching.  Her sunny disposition defined who she was, and as annoying as he could be (regardless of his size) he was still her brother and she would tolerate him regardless of his boorish behavior.

Most importantly though, Olivia wanted to be tuned in and alert for any sign of their return.  That was real excitement.  It wasn’t too long before she heard the sound of the garage door opening.  It creaked very loudly and was unmistakable.  It also meant that they were home!  It was by far Olivia’s favorite thing in the world to welcome them back after they had been gone for a while.  Every time they returned and opened the door she would always jump up to greet them and see if they had brought any presents for her.  This time was no different and she smiled from ear to ear and jumped up and down, making a huge fuss.  She would mix her exuberant welcome with a chance to stick her nose in as many of their packages as she could to see if anything was brought for her.  There was always a chance that there might be a special food treat hidden in one of the bags that she could snatch up.  She didn’t find anything to eat, but she was so content to have them back home.  They were back!  Once she calmed down a bit she climbed into her bed and fell fast asleep with dreams of freshly grilled chunks of steak, slow-footed squirrels, and constant pats on the head.

He Speaks

I led a perfect life before she arrived.  I didn’t have a care in the world.  I spent my days eating and sleeping and watching the world go by as I pleased.  I could do what I wanted when I wanted, and the best part was that I had them wrapped around my finger ready to jump at the sound of my voice.  It was sweet!

I can’t stand her.  They had felt sorry for her and brought her into my life to ruin everything.  She is always so upbeat and bubbly and does everything she is told.  They ask her to go to her bed and she can’t get there fast enough. They call her into another room and she always comes running with a huge smile on her face.  I can’t understand her.  To me ignoring them until I can’t get away with it any longer is pure satisfaction.  If I’m asked to go somewhere, I’ll act as if I haven’t heard them and go in the opposite direction on purpose. Being a foolish obedient slob is the antithesis of “cool.”  No matter how many times I try to tell her to chill out she never gets it.  In fact, after years of living trapped in the same house, the only way I can tolerate her is by acting as if she doesn’t exist.

I can’t help it if she’s my sister – she gets me so frustrated that I have to lash out on occasion – especially if she’s in my way (and she’s so darn big she always seems to be) – I’ll whack her two or three times or hiss and screech at her until she cowers out of the way.  I know I should feel bad about doing this, but it makes me feel so good I can’t help it.  Usually, I’ll preen and prance into the next room to show how cool I am.  It’s no big deal – she was adopted anyway (alright, I know that’s a low blow – especially since I was adopted too – but I was here FIRST!).

Besides my sister’s obsequiousness, there are other areas that bug me to no end.  One of my biggest problems with her is that she can’t relax, especially when we’re left home alone.  I simply don’t get it.  It makes no sense – this is when you get nothing for your troubles since there is no one around to notice you anyway.  Why waste energy when they’re not around.  I see her get so anxious for them to return that she fidgets and runs from one end of the house to the other.  Every time she thinks she hears something – she expects it to be them.  It drives me crazy.  When you’re home alone, this is the best time to stretch your nails on the curtains or pick at the tassels on the sofa cushions – not all the noisy theatrics she continually dishes out.

If she were a little more laid back like me, my guess is that she’d get more out of life.  For instance, when it comes time for dinner she attacks her food and gobbles it up as if it were her last meal.  Now if she took a cue from her more experienced bro, she’d ignore her food and cozy up to the others who have better stuff and purr sweet notes into their ear until they gave up some of their awesome grub.  It never fails – and my typical mush will still be waiting for me when I’m good and ready for it.  Instead, she’ll wolf down her chow and then come over and sit and stare patiently at everybody else eating – as if hoping that a morsel will fall out of their mouths and into hers.  The obvious begging and groveling are disgusting.  She doesn’t get the nuance of a creative mealtime approach like I do (its why I am obviously so superior).

She’ll never get the essence of “cool.”  It gets worse when they return home (they always do by the way) and she goes berserk jumping all over the place bumping into things and making a general nuisance of herself.  The worst part is that they think this is great, and lavish presents and treats and all sorts of attention on her.  Before she was here things were so much more civilized.  We hung out, listened to tunes, tasted the good life, and now – well, I’ll have to just hang out over here on the windowsill and wait for them to take her for a walk.

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